Tuesday, December 20, 2011

malakoff, born to run

malakoff 7km run was actually my first marathon ive ever join (tak kira la all those merentas desa during secondary school). and hell yeah i foking trained like shit yo and it all paid off. i finished at 45min and 36 seconds, no 45 out of 206 who ran for 7km. it felt good that i managed to conquered 7km within 45 minutes (eventho ade terlebih 36 seconds) and even better dapat nombor bawah 50 (i was aiming bawah 100 but hey you know what they always says, dont expect too much as you'll get more). so we ran along jalan beringin, damansara. the track was basically turun bukit - naik bukit - turun bukit - naik bukit - jalan flat sekejap - turun bukit - naik bukit. hahaha it was all downhill and uphill. tiring of course. a killer track, but i managed to ran/jog 90% of the track. wheehoo. luckily i stayed and trained in bukit jalil where its downhill and uphill everywhere hahaha. so after the marathon, i head down to chawan, bangsar to hang with my running-partner-who-ditch-me-on-the-race-day (she woke up late, not her fault tho). hahah lepak a bit, talk about stuff, had my late breakfast then pergi urban village for RANtAi revisit but all the fimiliar faces are no where to be seen. even hakim pun tak nampak. bands pun takde. i came a bit too early kot i guess. then head home slept till my wake up call. hahah great day with great people.

Malakoff 12km & 7km, Kuala Lumpur 2011

i came

and i conquered

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

loving this

im not so much of that "moves like a jagger" song fan, but this is another thing ya'll


crushes, crashes

u know im just like super duper bad in telling somebody how i truly feels. i just suck at it. the fact that i had to deal with super duper banyak rejection when i was growing up doesnt help in any way. so yeah the other day i was flying to DXB and this one steward went on and on and on about his love life and shit (owh yeah it was a draggy midnight flight so we had nothing better to do), but he said something that suddenly put that "click" sound on my head.

"eventho i have never experience any near death accident or incident, but i do like to think that i could get kill in anytime, any place or any moment. possibly i could just be at the wrong place at the wrong time, everything would just go bad. ive always imagine if i got stabbed in a dark hollow alley, theres no one to help me and i am bleed to death. at that right moment you would start having all those flashbacks and shit. things you wish you could change or thing that you wish you had done it waaaay before walking into this strange dark hollow alley. and one of it might gonna be not being able to tell your secret crush or you best friend how you truly felt. isnt it sucks? if i didnt have all this perception towards life, i wouldnt have married my wife, i wouldnt have walked to her and say how i truly felt to her..." and goes on and on and on and on and on

(technically this is what he said lah)

as we reached DXB, did all my thinking and shit and i decided to tell her how i truly felt (and since she's leaving one way or another, doesnt make any difference). so did i manage to spill my guts on her?

me: hey babe, u know what? i have something to tell you...
X: yeah, what it is?
me:nvm tell u all about it shortly...

hahah its not easy as how u would imagine. no its never that simple. maybe i just dont want to ruin whatever we are having right now. or maybe this is just a simple small infatuation, nothing more, nothing less. maybe i like that friendly & warm attention but afraid of commitments. hahaha or maybe im just scared of what she would say. maybe.

moving on
so tadi went to jayaone to pick up my race kit(for my upcoming marathon), and also to have my lunch with my old crush. hahha of course dier tatau, wouldnt it be awkward if she does?! haha annyywwwaayy, ive always admire her, always like that whole independent + carefree attitude and even back then she has always seemed to have things figured out, her life, studies, work and stuff. and no she's not your average typical drama queen or bimbo. she is waaaaaaaay matured for her age. so yeah went out for a makan tengahari, talked about love, life and stuff. eventho i tried my best not to talk on and on about my job but she seems interested tho (yeah im trying my best not to talk much about myself when im in this kind of situation, ill try to put her as the highlight of the day, but i failed :( ), kept blabling about my stressful dead end job. hahaha but that was a good talk la... good one... (or maybe it was good coz of her haha)
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Monday, November 21, 2011

ill hold on for as long as it gonna takes

Thank you, you showed me that there's actually "that someone" for me out there after all. Maybe i dont get my chance with her but at least u showed me something. Its always how one interpret the situation to really understand the purpose and the meaning of everything. I appreciate for what ur giving me right now, and yes i will keep holding on, for as long as it gonna takes.
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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

life's like that

you know how people always says that god works in a very weird way, if you ask for something He wont grant u exactly how u wants it, He make sure that u have to work a lil bit for it. u ask for a companion, he dont straight away gives u hundreds of woman, he gives u a few choices, he tells you to choose wisely and make ur move intelligently. He knows that if he gives away everything for free, we wont appreciate it. (plus what kinda life would that be?)

"easy come, easy go..."

but what if, you've been craving for love since the past 4 years and suddently u met someone. someone who have a looot in common with you (i know having stuff in common doesnt make her your soulmate, but from those common things we have, we get along jusssst fine), fun, gorjes and so on. BUT (there's always a but in this kind of fairy tale, she's just too good to be true) one way or another she'll be leaving you in 3 months time. She's there, but only for 3 months. Yes at first things kicked off pretty slow but what started off with 'just friends' soon later on became 'im attracted to her' and from attraction it became 'i kinda like her' (what can i say? being greedy is my nature. i never had enough of anything). but knowing that she'll leave in 3 months time, i decided to spent all that time with her just as a friend. im not that stupid to ruin everything we have just because of my hunger for a companion. i could manage to live this past years, why couldnt i just hang on longer? yeah life aint like those happily ever after movie, love aint like those chick flick u see on movies, life doesnt go where u want, everything doesnt based on the decision you make, life doesnt revolve around you and only you. what ever i said or do, she'll eventually leave, so what good does it make? plus i have a 50/50 chance that wether she feels the same or not. i was happy, i am happy and i will be happy... one way or another.

being single doesnt make you any less better. being single doesnt make you miserable. its all about how you take all the pieces together, and make the best out of it. no point of sitting in the corner and cry day by day of what things has become. yeah life is sad, life (and adulthood) isnt so much of what we expected. suck it up, nobody said that life is going to be easy.
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mataikan dua.kosong #3 #4 #5 #6

paris, first class international

tarikh keramat = 12 nov 2011
emirates & singapore airlines cabin crew interview

where was i? working, doing KUL/LGK/KUL/PEN/KUL. tho it wasnt full on all 4 sectors, that isnt the question. the question is why did i go for that flight instead of attending the interview (the one that i has been talking for god knows how long).

the fact that it appears on the the jobs website that they only looking for mandarin or cantonese speaking crew doesnt stop me from applying. i did state in my resume (think it was a mistake but then again, not being able to speak any of the mentioned language above has disqualified me from even being on THE list) that i cant speak, write or read mandarin or cantonese. so yeah, i didnt get called for any interview or such.

singapore airlines
i was 50/50 on this, they (crews, word of mouth and from travel blogs) said that being a foreign crew in singapore airlines might have lotsof perks especially on the currency exchange. but tatau kenapa in the end i decided not to go. maybe next time when im totally ready.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

out-of-tune, off-key

in spanish it would sound like this

desafinado by damien rice and lisa hannigan.

this IS that kinda song you would sing to your girlfriend as she is looking out on the window, and you're outside, in the garden with a guitar. although its in spanish, but i get that message that they are trying to send. i get it, really... you dont need a 5000 words long of an essay to say i love you. love isnt expressed in words. i could say "mi corazon" in a million ways, but if you dont put your feelings in it, it would be just words. words and nothing less. hahaha

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

little less and a little less

Ted: I used to believe in destiny, you know? I’d go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line reading my favourite novel, whistling the song that’s been stuck in my head all week and I think, “Wow hey, maybe she’s the one.” Now I think, I just know that bitch is going to take the last whole wheat everything bagel.

Robin: You’ve just been focused on work.

Ted: No, it’s more than that. I stopped believing. Not in some depressed, I’m-gonna-cry-during-my-toast way. Not in a way I even noticed until tonight. It’s just… every day, I think I believe a little less, and a little less, and a little less. And that… sucks. What do I do about that, Scherbatsky?

- Ted & Robin in How i Met Your Mother S07E01

Monday, October 3, 2011

Saturday, October 1, 2011

i need this, i want this

12 november 2011, Emirates open day in renassance KL.
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Thursday, September 22, 2011

dont you think so?

at first it was good to be here. by looking at my job, my payslip, my lifestyle and my route/destination etc, yeah it feels kinda good to be here. but after 2 years plus, you could see most of your friends who are not in the airline are climbing, are achieving something in their field; managing their first project, promotion, pay raise, relocation, more benefits, more subordinates, new horizon, new perspective and such, but me on the other hand is still like how i started flying 2 years ago. dont you feel quite pissed off/embarrass/demotivated when everybody else around you is going up but you, yourself is stuck with the same shit for 2 years.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

caroline lufkin - where's my love

thats it for tonight. im out. peace ya'll

so far ive covered

regardless whether its a turnaround flight or a layover

permandangan dari atas

whenever in the future i lost track of what or where i wanna be, i shall watch this movie again and shout "paris first class, international...".

the story tells you about a small-town girl(gwyneth paltrow) who is so much so wants to get out from her town, hence becoming a flight attendant. she started from a budjet/small-time airline and later on transfer herself onto another (big)airline, which she started off as a domestic(short haul flights) route crew and later on as an international(long haul flights) route. its whenever she lost track of what she want in life she would say "paris first class, international...", because thats where she wants to be and belong.

obsessed you say? no dont think so, i just know that my life is much more than this *showing my roster*! i dont wanna stuck day in, day out doing this route and only this. i wanna to take it up onto the next level! as what ariel would say "i want moooooorrreee...". no its not about the money *maaayyybee a little part of it* but its more to achieving something in life. more like making myself happy.

Adam Subandi : Dan kamu ngangap pekerjaan pengantar roll film itu sebagai karir(career)?
Joni: Kenapa ngak?
Adam Subandi: Kamu itu sebetulnya pintar kelihatannya, tapi kenapa jadi under achiever. Kamu bisa dapat pekerjaan yang lebih bagus kalau kamu mau.
Joni: Memangnya kriteria anda tentang pekerjaan yang lebih baik itu apa? yang lebih banyak duitnya?
Adam Subandi: Bener kan.
Joni: Men ! Ah ! Lu ngecewain gue, buat seorang seniman pikiran lu ituh terlalu dangkal.
Adam Subandi: Jelaskan?
Joni: Pekerjaan paling baik adalah dimana lu bisa nikmatin pekerjaan itu.
Adam Subandi: Dan kamu menikmati pekerjaan sebagai pengantar film?
Joni: Ya, pekerjaan antar mengantar adalah bentuk dasar dari semua bentuk silaturahmi, karena sifatnya menghubung-hubungkan orang. Ingat nabi-nabi kan? Tugasnya juga mengantarkan pesan dari Tuhan ke manusia.

Taken from the movie Janji Joni (2005)

at the end of the day, you would sit down and ask yourself "are you happy with this?". "are you truly happy with what have you achieve in life?".

but why are am i so obsessed with airlines and route? simple, ive been serving customer/passenger/guest in my career lifelong. so i guess airlines is on top of the pyramid. no i dont want to go back to hotel-life and F&B industry, the only way im going is UP!

mataikan dua.kosong

owh yeah i did tol you guys that i bought meself a new fisheye 2.0 over at www.lomography.com (thanxs to bestie) kan? ive just cuci-ed my first roll, not all came out right tho. there's few with no exposure at all, some came out all wrong due to main-suka-hati-editing-wahai-kedai-kamera and too much exposure. but then again thats what hobbies are for kan, failed at first try again and again and again till you get it right. hihihi

yup had to edit the contrast and the brightness sikit since wahai-kedai-kamera-main-suka-hati-edit-je. :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

suatu ketika dahulu

the day that my dream crumbled to dust

just came back from an easy LBU layover. surprisingly i was the most senior steward on that flight. flew with my twin batchmates. so as expected, we wanted to had our dinner to that overly famous food court right beside the hotel. but sadly it was raining meow meow and woof woof. so we had to head down to the coffee house and have that rm20 fried rice (i could literally have 5 of the same nasi goreng in a mamak. jeez hotel and their overly priced food).

nak buat cerita, im flying with this FS who went for almost all airlines interview yang ada kat malaysia (except AK :P). so he was telling me how he went tru till the last stage of emirates interview. how was the whole thing goin on. one thing he highlighted to me was that:

"bro tak kira emirates ke, etihad ke, dorang datang malaysia nak cari mandarin or cantonese speaking crew. kalau dorang nak normal speaking crew, baik dorang amik european ke, americans ka. english dorang lagi kebaboom..."

"so kate lah kalau aku nak belajar cantonese or mandarin, kau rasa 2 - 3 tahun cukup tak?" i replied

he said "boleh kooooot. tapi itu pun ko kene makan pill limitless tue. *gelak macam setan* hahahah"

me (-_-")

so really ka? cari mandarin/cantonese speaking crew saje? i thought the whole thing is for the culture diversity shit. haih. so am i gonna endup being a normal crew for 20 fucking years? am i gonna be that old crew who complains alot but do nothing about it? am i gonna turn out like those person i hate in the airline? urrhhghhghghghghghgh. *i think too much*

owh well doesnt matter what he sed, it wont stop me from trying tho. nothing to lose bah.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


"there's a reason why i said i would be happy alone, it wasnt coz i thought i would be happy alone, its because i thought if i love someone, and then it felt apart, i might not make it.
its easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love?, and then you dont have it.
what if you like it, and lean on it, what if you shake your life around it, and then it falls apart, can you even survive that kind of pain?
losing love is like organ damage, its like dying, the only difference is, death ends, this... it could go on forever..."

Meredith Grey
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Thursday, September 8, 2011

u get as what u hope for

Recently ive just finished reading the secrets by rhonda byrne. Nope its not a fiction book nor a conspiracy theory kinda book. Its a selfhelp kinda book, something like those chicken soup collection. So after spending numerous hours during layover/nightstop reading that book to sleep, its kinda interesting tho. Everyone has been saying that the whole content of that book is a bit syirik (please google). Coz it says that our mind is connected to each other in a whole other diff universe. So whatever we do, think or act here effects the other universe and vice versa. So technically if we think, talk or do about something, automatically u are attracting that aura to you. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla doesnt matter how you put it, it will only focus on the main topic. Example, i dont wanna meet adrian later thus you will meet him later or i would rather date a guy than her thus guys will be attracted to you, that kinda thing lah. So what makes it more interesting, i have been yapping about accidents and how my car got hit during my whole 3 days trip. Ngam2 lepas i balik, nak pergi lepak kat marrakesh, otw tue pow! kene langgar ngan bus. Luckily it was a slow mo punye accident. Eventhou i refuse to believe the whole "you think, you get" concept (to me its just the author trying to say stop being so negative, positive aura will make you better in life) but kebetulan kot. Even few days before my first accident, i kept telling myself that "everyone has their first accident, so like it or not you'll have your first. so be cool bro...". Maybe the whole other diff universe doesnt exist but i do believe that everything you say or think is like a doa. The more u think/talk about it, you are actually praying for it to happen. We always see the bad things in everything and thats why we never noticed all the good things that have happen to us. Like what our parents always says, "ape awak cakap tue doa, jangan lah doakan kecelakaan dekat orang...".
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Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Ish berkarat sungguh english saya.
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silly as it gets

dream. what you want to be, what u want, u need, who you wish to be with, an idea of accomplishment and so on lah. still remember clearly when i was in kindergarden, my ambition was to be a fire fighter (dunno whats playing on my mind that time), then during primary school i always imagine myself as a ranjer, marine or anything that has that espionage shit. Later on in secondary ive tried my best to become a dentist but failed miserabably. After school, since i was so much into our local art scene, ive always want to be a canvas-drawing-artist-cum-poet. Hahaha it shows that how fickle minded i am ever since i was little. I dont seems to stick on a one way road. Then during college time, yeah u guess; a chef in an international hotel with michellin award and culinare awards. Hahaha and now since im already in an airline i guess i should just go with the flow. To move back into hotel line, guess its too late d. So what im really hoping for right now is emirates. Yup emirates. It gets even more silly when im only applying for emirates and no other airlines. I would literally give up everything for a place in emirates. Dont ask me why, maybe its because all the news about emirates ive been reading lately and how their corprate image has been lift up by their plans to get even more a380 and employ summore 2000 plus cabin crew. And no its not because of a certain sumone who just started flying in emirates, no its not because of her. And no i dont want etihad, cathay etc. Why? Maybe coz i havnt heard much news about etihad eventho they are much better than emirates (says the latest skytrax survey). For a job that suppose to get me places, right now im not so much of going places, more like cuti-cuti malaysia. I wont start bitching my company coz without em, i wont get the chance to even start flying. No matter how bad things are, they are doing their best to please everyone. And yes nothing is perfect and u cant pleased everyone.

"it aint gonna rain all day sunshine..."
The Crow

Technically i think im in this mid 20's age crisis. Yup next year m gonna be 25 and accomplisment so far is none. I need something, just something firm enough for me to hold on to. I know i aint that tall enough to have this sky high dream, but i wont stop trying. Age is catching up, i need this. Fast. *trying my best not to sound desperate tho...* So right now my dream is to be in emirates. Fly to moscow, canada and so on. Based in DXB? I say bring it on!!!
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Monday, September 5, 2011

Selamat Hari Raya

selamat hari raya. nothing much to say tho. nothing much goin on. feeling a bit grateful that im still here despite that my raya leave isnt approved and had to spent my raya with an empty house. but that still doesnt stop me from enjoying all the lemang, ketupat and rendang that my mum cooked. storming open houses and the sad part; giving duit raya. i still remember how rm1.00 was big enuff for duit raya. nowaday rm1.00 is considered cheapskate and rm5.00 is the typical duit raya. hahaha time changes and so does the value of money. couldnt really munch on food tho on the first day of raya. still with that puasa mood. good thing was i lost few kilos during ramadhan but bad news, perut buncit je lagi. hahaha anyway selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

bersih 2.0

have any of you guys (as if anyone is reading this) watched battle in seattle. no its not about how alien invade seattle and try to take our water supply (if you happen to think of battle of los angeles). its about a few bunch of NGOs who thinks that WTO (world trade organisation) is doing a pretty fucked up job (they are!) and doin a peaceful rally about it.

the movie focused on this one particular activist who have been involved in so many rallies in which eventually became the reason why he brother died; so called peaceful rally. so ever since then he became even much more active in rallies and believe that the people (in the name of democracy) should do something about this fucked up world and the fucked up government. it is based on a true story by the way. so they were doing the peaceful rally, minding their own business, police was not in their way or anything, and suddenly came this one group which call themselves as the anarchy and start making nuisance and huru-hara which force the police to take down the whole activist group throughout seattle wether they are from the anarchy group or not.

"power to the people..."
zack de la rocha

so what am i try to say/imply here? we all knew the whole commotion on bersih 2.0 (what has almost became a bloodbath between the patriot and the bersih), about how the police disperse them without any discussion/negotiation, about how the police use brute force to disperse them, about how our PM congratulate the police force in doing such a very good job and no im not gonna touch on Mat Sabu and Al-Juburi subject because im not on the opposition side nor the government side. yes the Bersih 2.0 committee said that it was a peaceful rally and police has obviously use their force in a not so good way. so how can you possibly say that out of the few thousands who came for that rally and even one of them had this "rage" idea in the mind. COME ON! yes it was a peaceful rally and i truly believe in order to tarnish the police force image some of them had poke the sleeping giant. maybe it was one or two of them in which the police had to take an immediate action to disperse them. and they say that the police force disperse them without any negotiation or discussion before they start firing the water gun and the rubber bullet, MY ASS! the whole negotiation was held months before the rally, between the bersih 2.0 committee and the government. it is when their rally proposal request is denied is when the police force has agree that if they decide to go on with this rally they will disperse them in any way. and the aftermath? even after bersih 1.0 and now this bersih 2.0 has the government actually put any thoughts in any of their 8 requests. i do believe that we need a clean and fair election, but if putting the citizen on the front line is the only way to do so, i dont believe in this whole thing. i believe they are trying to make this into a spectators sport. if you are willing to die for your country, this is not the way! if you believe that if you willing to make a change, this is definitely not the way. look at yourself, the parties you are voting for, regardless opposition nor government, do you strongly believe that they are 100% bersih? noo. no matter where they stand, they will always be a lil bad in them. im not so much into politics, maybe i speak without any facts or knowledge to support my ideas but think about it.

bersih aftermath, those who caught during the rally, are they still in the lokap?

Monday, August 8, 2011

Alina Orlova

gojes, talented and speaks russian. *drools*

my new darlings!

owh yes its my not-so-brand-new Sony Vaio, VPCEA36FG

and my uber cool fisheye 2.0!

Finally man, after a few months of no-alco and no-cucuk-langit, i managed, i managed to get myself a decent lappy and a camera which ive always wanted. so technically this is the reward i get for being much patient with the passenger and my fellow crew. thank you! hahahah but this lappy has made me anti social siot. i play games 24/8/365!! like tadi right after sahur i started playing fallout 3 and tau tau tibe-tibe my brother ketuk bilik ajak pergi beli juadah berbuka T_T. so technically i was hooked on my lappy for 12 long hours. jeez, gilo ke ngapo? luckily its the month of ramadhan so no heavy activities for me, no 10km run, no nothing to miss out on. hahaha i even choose mr. lappy over lepaking with some friends. haiya *ketuk dahi*....

jumping jumping *wait for it* DENIED!

the whole point of getting into this game is obviously not because of the people and the money, its the opportunity for you to travel but not paying for the transportation and accommodation. isnt it good? all you have to do is serve a few hundred passenger and voillah you're flying here and there. true its fun *technically the whole thing is fun, only if you discard the serving part*! but in my case, its not fun when all i do is regional layover flights and international daily flight. yeah i do get international layover every now and then but COME ON! *i would like to continue my ranting but i rather not* its even more frustrating when few of my batch mates are already jump off to other airlines, seeing their status updates and pictures makes me frustrated with my dead end job sometimes. one fellow ex colleague did her first flight to MAN! how cool is that? i know millions would trade to be in my shoes right now, but come on, who wants to be a cabin crew when the furthers u travel is just to east malaysia? im not flying for AK for godsake. ive sent out numerous CV's out to that 2 particular UAE based airline but sadly they are looking for stewardess ONLY for the time being and if they are looking for stewards, dont think my height would be something they highlight. shitty la, my one weakness is the one thing they look in a candidates *apart from the qualification and stuff*. people always says that those who went to any airlines interview and hoping to get in are the one who didnt get picked but its those who went to teman their friends or just for the sake of trying. so technically once you put some hope in getting in, its the minute you arent qualified to get in. so the moment i start having hope to jump off to other airlines, awal-awal lagi dah tak kene picked. sad sad sad. some say that im not grateful enough with what i have. "nanti yang dikendong berciciran dan yang dikejar hilang...", no im not being ungrateful but its more of getting out of my comfort zone. when you play diablo takkan nak biar je character tue kat level 1? sure of course you want your character to level up till all the monster couldnt even pinch you! yes thats what im talking about, i want to upgrade my self, i want to level up! being just this isnt good enough for me, i want.... i need more.

*currently listening to "Arlina Orlova - Paskutinio Mamuto Daina"*

if i were given a chance, i would love to travel to moscow, latvia, yukon, toronto, dominican republic, paris and london of course.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

big, humongous, enourmous, huge or what ever u wanna call it...

Saya tak pernah suka orang bawak beg besar. I mean kalau kau check in beg itu i really dont mind, but if you are the type who refuse to check it in just because you are too stingy, *shopping nak penuhkan beg tue mampu* you can seriously go to hell. Aku tau ko masuk carrefour dan shop beg "wear and tear" yang terbesar dalam carrefour dan kemudian kau penuhkan seberat dunia dan bawak masuk cabin. Lepas tue kau cakap kat aku that its too heavy! So if its heavy to you, why would it be any less diff to me? Dah la 737 ney single aisle je, kau dah bawak beg besar2 kemudian kau bawak paper bag LV kau tue dan cakap tak boleh stack atas dier coz ade handbag mahal! FORGODSAKE IF ITS TOO FRAGILE, KEEP IT WITH YOU! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! And because of your bag is not cabin size, kene susun memanjang dan tambah ngan paper bag kau, satu compartment sahaja dah mmg penuh untuk kau. Self-fucking-fish punya malaysian. Bila masuk passenger lain yang seperangai ngan kau, mmg la aku kene offload beg2 korang. Nak marah? Marah la ngan passenger yang selfish macam mereka ney, cabin crew cuma assist, buat ape kau marah aku? Ney belum cerita passenger yang bawak 5 beg untuk bawak masuk cabin. Itu lagi tak pikir orang lain. I totally ok with passenger dan request pelik2 korang tapi beg besar dan berat, saya sangat allergic dengan kamu. Maybe they should write "if you cant carry your bags, what makes you think that our cabin crew would actually manage to carry it for you?" on our ad. Kalau aku angkat beg kau dan 3 tahun akan datang aku dapat slipdisk, ade kau kisah? Lepas compartment dah full, masuk pulak en. Corporate yang insist that his lappy bag to be on top of his head. Suruh letak bawah seat tamau sebab tada roomspace. Lepas tu passenger yang bodo yang main suka2 tinggal beg kat aisle sebab dier tgk tada space kat compartment dan ingat cabin crew ney hamba dier. Ade je aku campak beg kat tarmac. Kalau nak cerita pasal bag mmg tak habis. Oleh kerana saya operate 737, mmg issue beg ney is a never ending punya hal. Tak cerita kalau operate 738 pergi DEL, BLR, HYD dll. Bag mmg nightmare la. Pernah kot flight aku delay satu jam lebey pasal hal ngan bag. Tak cerita pasal bag TC yang besar gedabak gak. Haih.

Aug roster just came out the other day, along with our salary. Roster had never failed to dissapoint me. 4 sectors all the way, PEK and raya im on stnd by. I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing! Nil! Bulan puasa betul2 menjadi dugaan untuk saya. Same shit, diff year.

Owh yeah cant wait for my vaio! Wheeee, command & conquer, world of warcraft, crisis, assasins creed, starcraft 2 & mechwarrior 5 here i comeee! Yea no life saya tau! Dah lama nak main game ney cuma pc yang obselete tue je tak mampu nak main!
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Saturday, July 16, 2011

Urbanoscapo 2011

Back then it was known as KLue Urbanscapes, now its just Urbanscapes je. Basically tadi for performance the was the mainstage, moonshine stage, junk stage, live experience stage and x-"something" stage. A long stretch of booth selling from crapo stuff, cams to shirt, dresses and stuffs. There was a only a few booth selling over priced food. And there wasnt a proper place to chill (the sun was literally an inch above my head, it was freaking hot with no shade to cover myself). It was a great event, spacious, so that people isnt crowding around like back then in KLpac, it was like rootz on saturday night. But the low down was since there was too many stage to go to and they all played at the same time so crowd was scattered all over the place, imagine like there was this biiiiig one stage but the crowd macam a few je coz most of them are all at diff stage. Even when najwa was singging on the mainstage, most of the people was at t junk stage coz liyani fizi was performing. Management agak suckie. The speedzone was el perfecto, the beatbox performance was a killah. A dude who can sing p.ramlee song and yet he can still beatboxing. Wasnt much of activities to do. Art installment pun kurang. Parking was a pain in thr backside. With all this going on of course i met all those long lost event friends. My mosh friends, performers (jiwa, ayak, pejal, tengku, tara, cease), booth peeps (shikin, ice, nareez, mo and few others), poly dudes and some other who i classified them as the raingers (we used to follow hujan their every other gigs). It was very nostalgic. Cheeehwah. Kononnye. It took remind me back in 2008 when i used to perform and organized gigs (FYI i did the soft launching of JayaOne yeeeaa). RANtai Art Events, kugilalensa, quickie 8tv, bangkit, funky doryz and stuff. Haha those were the days la.
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

butterflies in my stomach

I still remember my puppy love back then in high school. Back then when handphones are still expensive and the most canggih one is nokia 3310. Back then we dont have twitter and facebook and all, so getting to know someone was waaaaaaay harder than today. I wrote her a simple "i want to get to know you" note on a piece of kajang paper (ala that kertas kajang where ur school punya logo ada kat atas tue), and during recess hour i put it inside her english text book (coz im a certified stalker, i know that her next class is english haha). It took me quite a while to realize that i forgot to put who am i and how do she reply (since her class was across my class). Wanted to talk to her tapi butterflies are running wild in my stomach, so i wrote another letter, masa nak letak dalam buku dier again, her classmate/friend/deskmate happen to walk in the class (i think she forgot her lunch money or something) and saw me at their desk, sneaking and looking all suspicious. So she ambushed me from behind and start accusing me being a thief and stuff. I was too malu to say that i was putting love letter in her deskmate book, so instead i made up stories saying that i want to pass a note from a friend to her deskmate and guess what she bought me to her friend. Long story short after meeting her in person (in a way i had no other choice lah masa tue) i dont need any letters, i only say what i wanna say in person and thats how i get to know her. It was one of my "make it or break it" moment. I really dont care wether she'll hate me or she will like me, i just wanna get the message across and spill my guts out. But i dont seems to have the courage to do that nemore. Even with my ex, i managed to pull myself together and go straight to her and ask for her phone numb. Hahah i like being young and naive, you dont think much, u just do it!

Moving on
Bestie just bought a monopoly, i never knew that board games could be thiiiiiiiis fun (esp when u r winning! Haha). Tadi they just bought jenga and monopoly 3D. Cant wait to win, agaiinnn. Hahaha btw congratz on ye annie.

Moving on
Cant wait for my taipei and delhi flight. Its been awhile since my last taipei and delhi layover.

Taipei = oyster mee + pudding + bubble tea + camarel strawberry + chicken xxl + shinlin

Delhi = nothern india curry + sarojini market + super crazy tut tut + himalaya products

Im totally gonna tapau lotsof pudding from 7E (sounds funny that im gonna shop in 7E but our 7E is nothing compared to theirs) and eat loaaaddds of street food in shinlin. As for delhi if i can get myself to sarojini then its curry for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I could never get enough of their curry. Seriously kari diorang memang ade kick. Not forgetting the super cheapo himalaya products. Been wanting to stockup on scrub, toner and such. Other than this 2 flights, i have nothing else to look forward to this month.

And owh yea saya sudah berjaya lari 10km. Next, 13km.
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Thursday, July 7, 2011

B U N C I T iHATEyou

Its hard being buncit. Its never easy. Im always shy when taking off my shirt whenever m at the beach or pool, no self confidence when going after girls, always have to tuck in all those spare tyres and pouch bag especially during safety demo, whenever seated at your crew seat its evenharder to pull in all those fats in, crew always go "duddee is that your stomach", all your jeans doesnt fit right anymore, u need to breathe in when putting on your pants, my hips are getting bigger, u ran what 5km? 7km? 10km? For nothing, all your loose pants are now like a skinny pants, u dont feel right, how do you dress to impress but you yourself are not impressive, i have a height issue and now perut issue, ive always wanted to go for all that adds casting but obviously not with this perut, they say its cute to have a lil bit of perut but this aint no lil bit nemore, im prone to looking at t mirror and feel bad about myself, light colours doesnt suit me nemore, the more i try to lose my perut t bigger it gets, i like food, like literally everything but due to this perut issue i had to cut all those nasty fatty foods, i tried to not eat rice but come on! ive been living with rice for almost 24 years, i cant watch all those branded stuff adds coz ill envy those guys with nice abs and killa cuts and few others. Its not like im not doing anything about it, i doooo but gila it doesnt work man. Im thinkking of lipo and slimming tea but i just cant handle t whole shitting and sitting in t toilet 24/7. Plus lipo mahal kot. Urgh why cnt u just go away buncit.
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Monday, July 4, 2011

For whom i would never know

Your hand that i could hold,
A love story that i could told,
A lips that i could kiss,
A life that i would miss,
A heart to be sold,
To whom i would never know,
A night that i could remember,
With whom ive always wonder,
A gentle touch ive always hunger,
A warm cuddle that i crave,
Your heart i would keep safe,
Forever together i would say,
Happiness everyday,
Ive found you i would finally say,
Unconditional love from me,
Your heart and soul i would be,
All this wishes,
Are nothing but just wishes,
Too long i have been,
From a lust forest for what i was,
Now a dried dessert ive become,
What did i do to deserve this?
Is this karma? Or what ever this is...
4 long years,
Isnt thats enough?
It should have made me tougher,
Instead ive grown weaker,
Deep inside im getting bitter,
Felt like im trapped,
Totured and half dead,
For ive only watched,
Not to feel or touch,
Never to say or confide,
One word i have for this,
Definately not love what this is,
An eternal loneliness,
For what it have been,
If capulet and montague were starcrossed lovers,
Then im starcrossed with my own fate forever,
A promise of a soulmate,
But not a guaranteed hapiness,
Owh life owh life i really hate,
One day maybe one day,
A story,
A lips,
A night,
A wish,
For whom i would never know...
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Thursday, June 30, 2011

6 months - we're here - 6 months

You should know by now that what you have planned would never be as how u expect and in the end things would turned out waaaaaay diff then what u have planned and expected. Reality never walk on the same path with expectation and hope. I only have resolution just so that i would have a clear target of what i hope for and expect but in the end like i said, things would never turned out like how u wanted, it would be diff, maybe better and maybe worse but its how you cope with the end result make a whole lot diff.

"eggs are already broken, why not make an awesome omelette out of it..."

Six months has passed and six months to go till we reach 2012. Hows your so called resolution coming? Any chances of having new ones? Sticking to your old ones? Haha im still fat and buncit, doesnt know how would the new uniform treat me later this year, ill just hope that all of my exercise will paid off. Im still spending off my salary on bunch of useless things. Savings seems like the hardest thing to do so far. Emirates and etihad has been rather cruel to me since they are only looking for stewardesss. Nothing much really. Im still stucked in this sad sad saaaaaad job. Really. Nak beli leica pun still a long fucking way to to go. Laptop pun jauh sekali. PS3? Cool car soundsystem? Rims? Dalam mimpi je la. Nak bawak my mother jalan-jalan roun asia pun jangan harap la.
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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

chaka khan

kenapa macam susah sangat nak cari lagu makcik neyh? tade ke ape kat internet neyh? satu lagu je kot... chaka khan - foolish fool

macaroons and cuppycakes

saya pernah amik subject marketing. basic marketing principle. i learn a thing or two about marketing. the marketing P's (place, people, product and promotion), concept and stuff. all the basic-basic stuff je. masa belajar dulu i did came across the word and the whole concept of fads. yup something yang hype for a limited time sahaja. growth scale dier sangat mendadak dan begitu juga semasa dier menurun. it is something like fashion.

"Fashions fade, style is eternal..."
- Yves Saint Laurent

Kalau fashion itu fads then style would be... emm lupa. Well anyway so when a certain object, thing, statement or anything experiencing fads, on the tipping point everybody would go gaga, crazy, jumping up and down for it. the good thing is you can basically found it anywhere and everywhere. on the downside, people start ripping off each other's product. like last year, it was the year of cupcake. everything was associated with cupcakes. literally EVERYTHING. you'll see promotion with cupcakes picture on it *eventho the cupcake picture doesnt have anything to do with the promotion*, for the sake of joining the hype/craze. still remember that people would go for birthday cupcakes rather than normal/typical round birthday cakes. it was cupcake, cupcake, cupcake and cupcake. they even managed open up few outlets of cupcake chic *an overly priced cupcakes* during this whole craze. but the best cupcakes i tried was in wondermilk, pj. just the right amount of sweetness. dah la cupcakes yang lain semua gila-babi-manis-sampai -boleh-dapat-gangren and one thing about the cupcakes nie semua; it's never about the cupcake, it's always about the design. plus majority yang beli semua perempuan, so they'll go like "awww comel nye gambar kucing atas cupcake tue!" or "awww look the colour, its niceeeee..." but they never puji kesedapan dier. not even once. they always go for a particular shop because of the nice, neat and well coloured cupcakes. never about the recipe. kalau nak cakap pasal recipe, most of them just wanna make super cheap cupcakes but super expensive. why expensive? you are actually buying the design not the cupcake. so they are charging you extra for the extra neat workmanship. doesnt make sense lah semua ini. its not like you're gonna wear those cupcakes to work and such. you'll buy it, eat it and it'll go out along with your morning nasi lemak later that day. i really dont get it. tapi ini semua tahun lepas la. this year, its the year of macaroons. ini lagi la tak faham. why should i buy something that is THAT small with THAT kinda price. really dont make any sense. baik aku beli those godiva chocolates kat airport or patchi kat pavi. anyway have you seen adriano zumbo's v8 macaroon tower. kalau dah you would actually understand why i dont understand how could that little thing could be SOMETHING suddenly. cam nowadays being seen with a cupcake is like sooo 2010, now its all macaroons pulak. u go to flickr, display pic and so on tak sah kalau tade orang post gambar macaroons. i mean if people wanna go gaga over cheese ke, wine ke, a certain restaurant ke i would totally understand. but macaroons? come on! like COOOOMMMEEE OOONNN! seriously!? and again, it is never about the macaroons but the color. how colorful can it be! owh gawd. come on. malaysian you can do better than this! even donuts pun tak boleh lawan mereka berdua ini. and yes, cupcake sekarang dah cam nothing dah.

incik marco dari tropoja?

anda incik marco dari tropoja? kata rosham noor. hahah i was imagining who actually would it be if liam neeson was born malaysian. hahha or anyone who is capable of saying this in relaxed tone of voice and yet still scared the shit out of marco from tropoja.

‎"I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you..." - Taken.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


a song written by an old friend of mine.

"selama ini selalu yang ku puja mahkluk yang kau cipta,
selama ini selalu yang ku sebut yang sama darjatnya,
sering aku lupa apa yang aku cari bila ku hidup,
dan ku kejar dunia hingga ku terlupa siapa yang mencipta,

wal hal di jadikan semua,
untuk membuatkan ku berfikir,
selama ini aku hanya bergurau bila aku kata ku saksi,
aku hanya bersenda mengaku ku percaya sedangkan kau tak ku kenali..."

written by the vocalist of Bintang Batu; Farhan if im not mistaken. its deep, very deep man. eventho i was never really a fan of malaysian songs or poetry but this one really is something. every now and then i would play this song, and i somehow never get bored of this song. his words are really something. menusuk dikalbu. hoho

"maafkan wahai pencipta,
kerana ku sejahil-jahilnya manusia,
lemahnya diriku x seperti diriNya,
namun ku terus berjuan dari,
virus hati yang semakin sebati,
moga tak terhijab dari petunjukNya,
selagi ku hidup..."

btw ini bukan those typical nasyid punya lagu.

Monday, June 20, 2011

holy cow! holy shoomizitnit! holy mujohutofitosilo...

EK interview! EK interview! E-freaking-K interview! Tapikan everytime ade interview that i really wanted to go to, meeeesti ade flight-flight best yang menganggu. For example few months back there was Etis and Emirs interview in kl, but for some reason maybe my company knows that i want jump to other airlines tue yang dier bg flight2 "mahal" on t day of t interview itself. And next month dier bagi TPE 3 days trip. Tapi pabila perkara2 begini berlaku, mulalah berfikir2 bende2 mendalam seperti; what is this? A test? To see wether i cud sacrifice money in order to get something that i want eventho theres no assurance of getting it fo real? Is this really meant to be? Stuff like that. I always have this theory about life where one destiny or life is written and theres nothing one could do about it. Eventho they say you yourself choose the road to your destiny but then again doesnt it make sense if i say the choice that u take or took is already written. Doesnt matter what you do, its what you are meant to do. And consequences are made to make one believe that the choices are layed down for you not pre-answered for you. haahaha mengarut je kan.

On the other hand
Saya benci hotel hilton kuching la, the quilt are too damn thick wei. Kalau x pakai sejuk, kalau pakai panas lak *macam dewey cox cakap, "im hot and cold at the same time. More blanket and less blanket..."* lepas tue dekat vicinity area hotel ney tade proper food joint selain dr fastfood kat tepi ney. And for some reason crew suka sangat makan dekat "bawah tangga" ney. I dont see what is so great about their ayam penyet. Dah la minyak recycle beriban kali, pastu the whole place ade this one-kind-of-fishy-and-disgusting-smell-which-i-cant-describe. Dengan sanitation yang agak kurang, tempat ney lebih kurang macam philipino market dekat KK cume dier bawah tangga and jual ayam penyet and mee kolok. The only thing i find interesting is the mushroom noodles. Tue je yang ok. And for some reason this hotel has this one bellboy who seems to know about the pattern flights goin in and out more than me. Hahaha dier ade apps blackberry yang check flight tue kot *giggles*.

Moving on
Nak update CV dan mungkin memerlukan pertolongan wahai bestie punye ayat2 gempak. ¦P
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Sunday, June 19, 2011

happy fathers day

I hit a few bumps on the road, i fell down every now and then and i always pick myself up, i dont get any manly advice when i needed one and you were never around when we needed a man in the house. Thank you for not being around. Happy fathers day.
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Saturday, June 18, 2011

Most american mov there's always a scene where the girl/guy would go and say "one day im gonna go out from this shitty place. And eventually succeed in life...". Lets play some statistic and he a little realistic here. Few millions wanna go out and fill a few thousand vacancy. And from few thousands there's only few hundred of executive position. And few hundred there's only few places in the VVIP post. And from few there's only one seat in the chairman. And for every one stage u go up, the elimination gets tougher. First they look at your qualification, then qualities and lastly they look at your advantages. You know how muchio i want to be in uae airlines; emirates to be exact. Im already among the few millions who wants to get out from their shitty place. How in the world do i want to compete with those super tall and good looking europeans and americans. Haih its a long shot but i would definately not stop trying. If its meant to be then its meant to be.
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"one could never have enough butter..."

Watching all these cooking show (masterchef, hell's kitchen etc) has made me wonder, what has happen to me? Where have all my passion for food gone? I have always like food. I dont just eat ze food, i taste, i chew, i feel the whole chemistry going on in ze food. Ze whole explosion of taste in your mouth. I always tried making stuff at home and coll back then. Ive always like standing in the kaiten belt or being at the agemono station. I like cheese, not how it taste but how it react toward diff style of cooking. I always like the smell of cinnamon and bayleaf. I love when you cook mushroom soup (not from the can please) the whole nice fragrant goin on. The whole dissapointment when you cook your roux a lil bit too much. Boning a fish, preparing your chicken stock, steaming your garnishing, blunching, bouget garni, mira poix, plating and how i always have capsicum in my food. Now alif iskandar, what in ze world happened to you? Ze closest thing u ever get to cooking is maggie and heating foods in inventum oven. Where have all ze julia child in me has gone? I still have my super thick professional cooking book stored hidden in my room. My super sexy paring knife has became pisau potong sayur mak saya. My victorinox french knife has been just a display in my house. My previous tool kit ranges from knives, silverware, senduk and lots more. Now my tool kit ranges from thong, gloves, and the bag itself. Thats it. No more stockpot, non stick pan, griller, chiller and heater. I hate whats going on right now. Im paying rm30 for a seafood cabonara which tasted like instant maggie mee. Where i could make thouuuuusand times better. Haih i wanted to cook but my place isnt ze best place to do so. Plus i dont really like to cook then some other people EXPECT that i would cook for them oso. I dont wanna start the whole nirmala bonat shit here. If i ever get my own place in the future, i would definately get my own proper bbq set. I would grill, smoke, burn and caramalised my food there. But owh well that is whole diff story there. One day i might move out and start doin something about this. One day ya'll.
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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Im listening

Being the youngest among three brothers is no fun when your two big brother is a fulltime rebel. For half of my age ive been nagged by my beloved mother for stuff that i didnt do, and since i was young i had no father to teach me stuff (nak play catch kononnye) and to tell me stuff that only a father could tell me, plus my mother isnt always around for me. So most of my life i was a loner + nerd and since i never talk back to my mother, ive develope a super strong patient. Yup, but since she's always the one whos doing the talking so im also grew up to be a patient dan "menerima je apa orang cakap". So coincidently ive endup in service industry where to be in one, one has to have lotsof patient and listening skill. Ah-ha both is my strong att. Hahaha like they say, if its meant to be, its meant to be haha.

When i take shit (not literally taik la) from pax is one thing but if that shit is coming from your crewmates is totally a diff story. I totally hate it seriously. It is when you had to cover his/her job is the stressing part. Not trying to be selfish or drawing a line but doing things together and doing things alone is hell yeah diff yo. Why cant you just do your job, and we all could enjoy the flight. Its too much? Quit then. Its too hard? Its a freaking job yo, Suck it up. Life itself is hard. Too lazy? Stay home. Forgot? Makan kismis bismillah la.
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Saturday, June 11, 2011


Being a cabin crew, i have nothing to look forward to. I dont have assignments. I dont have presantation. I dont have meetings. I dont have to chase client or the other way around. I only have flights, flights, flights and flights. Its either daily flights, layovers or trips. I dont have anything to look forward to. So technically having a hobby is crucial to keep you going. Its just something for you to look forward to, to do when everyone else is flying. To kill time. But then again i dont look for those "collecting" type hobbies coz ive tried it and since i dont go anywhere out of asia so there's nothing much for me to collect *unless i want thoooooousands of KCH, PEN or BKI frigde magnet on my fridge*. So ive decided to choose something that benefits me. At first i tried mtb, and it is soooooo not for me. Too extream. Next was wallclimbing. Since its a sport which i need a partner so scratch that. Finally running. Yeah i kinda loving it, last month alone i ran a total of 60 km *courtesy of sporty pal*. My fitness is getting better day by day. But my records doesnt seems to budge. My record is 3.70 km in 24 minutes. I dont seem to be getting any better than this. A friend of mine managed to do 3.7 in 18 minutes. Selepas sebulan mencuba saya menjadi frustrated sebab rekod masa cammmtu je and my dearest beer barrel kat depan ney semakin membesar seperti ibu mengandung ade la. X sakit hati ke when you're hoping that all your hardwork would at least paid off, siiiiiikit pun tak bagi chance. Might wanna give it a few more months, kalau semakin kembung i might gonna try roadbike after this. Cari geng berbasikal dr b.jalil ke shah alam on kesas *ive always wanted to try this*.
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Every single time that 'what if' song by babyface berkumandang, i just cant help being miserable, starting to reminisce those good ol 'ill do anything for you' times and trying my best not to give my ex a late night booty call *hahaha*.

"Leave everything, get up and start something new..."

Ive deleted pictures, throw away used mov tix, gifts, perfumes or anything that reminded me of her but i cant seem to delete her phone numb or her birthday in my calender. Cant seem to have the courage to completely delete her in my life. When she walk away from our relationship, owh yes i hated her for doing so but hating her for doing so doesnt make me unlove her. Yes i still do love her but i really believe that we could never ever be together again. She has been a biiiiiig part of my life, she understands me, she knows what i like, what i hate. She gives the perfect birthday gift, always. She cooks like how i want my food to be cook *yup i will still eat it if she do it any other way* but the most important thing, she loved me and i know no one could ever possibly beat her sacrifices and her effort. But one thing i really couldnt understand is, how / when / why did suddently from love it became loved. Up till now i really dont get it. If i could turn back time, i would not do anything differently. Ive tried my best and for that i have no regrets. Maybe things werent meant to be. Maybe she's is that one who got away. Maybe i was too young. Who knows. Call me stupid but i still remember our promise that in case we broke up, when im like 35 or so, we should meet back at that place where our eyes first met. And i still dont know why i remember this promise. Couldnt properly let go kot.
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Thursday, June 2, 2011

3 years ago

3 years ago i was earning 800/monthly.
3 years ago i was so into malaysian independent music scene where i play, i organize and attend events in kl.
3 years ago ive never imagine myself to be travelling quite alot.
3 years ago i was never a workaholic.
3 years ago, i believe that in order to work, one has to have passion in what he do.
3 years ago i've always wanted to do volunteering stuff.
3 years ago i was still living with my mum in shah alam.
3 years ago i was car-less and license-less.
3 years ago i wasnt able to splurge anything on myself.
3 years ago i was juggling 2 jobs at the same time, eventho one of it doesnt even pay me anything. It was more like a volunteering stuff.
3 years ago ive never set foot in any other country except malaysia.
3 years ago i always imagine that one day ill work in a fine dining japanese restaurant.
3 years ago i was a soft spoken kiddo.
3 years ago i wasnt an alco.
3 years ago i didnt care so much about my dad.
3 years ago i wasnt into drugs.
3 years ago i was single.

Now im earning more than 1.5k/monthly.
Now i dont listen to any malaysian music. Dont even play any instrument anymore.
Now im travelling on a daily basis.
Now im a workaholic.
Now i believe that more money you earn the better the job is. Passion wouldnt really matter when you have lotsof money.
Now im still interested to do volunteering stuff but too occupied with work to even think about it.
Now im staying in bukit jalil with my friends.
Now i have my WTD baby.
Now i constantly splurging on myself with useless things.
Now im working steady in one job.
Now ive set foot in various countries.
Now im imagining that one day ill work in a multinational airlines, based in UAE.
Now ive able to speak up to others. Im no yes man.
Now i hate my dad.
Now i still hate drugs. :)
Now im still single.

From a short period, ive change in so many ways. Its funny how money can buy my belief, can change my course of life, able to take me a notch up and can provide me with so many things. Nobody can escape changes, your enviroment is constantly changing, people come and they'll go, nothing last forever.
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Monday, May 30, 2011


gomen referring to those who works with the government. *gomen, ala-ala macam geng power rangers cross with digimon*

anyway me and my mum had this argument the other day, where my point was; most gomen people are lazy as shit. they have multiple coffee break in 3 hours and most of em doesnt have that 'professionalism'; they sleep during their job and some even clock-in then go and have breakfast till lunch then only they return to work. technically oleh sebab banyak sangat red tape untuk buang seseorang, environment dier sangat lay back. dan walaupun benefit banyak, tapi bila dalam gomen i think that 'competitive' sangat tiada. kerana they dont so much look at your achievement but more on your seniority. her point was, all the benefits, pension, the opportunity to do PJJ (you continue study but still get half of your salary) and some other benefit that revolves around money. yes i do get the point that in government is good on long term basis and private sector are good on short term. but as how i see it, u dont have that competitive culture, you'll eventually dragged into that lay back environment and eventually you will feel under appreciated, demoralize and such. maybe i seems like i dont fully understand the system, maybe i havnt really got the opportunity to work in gomen and maybe i talking BS but tru my observation (friends and family who are in the gomen) this what i can lay down for her. but noooooo, she told me that if i could quit the airline and get my arse in the gomen till i retired she would have no complains on that. owh yea she wants me to be a PA? not personal assistant but pembantu am. errands boy la in short form. no. i refuse to absorb her idea on gomen. i refuse.

nota kaki = im so bloddy pissed with my brother, walaupun dia yang belanja tapi i have my specific order for subway sandwich which i told him earlier and he came back with something totally diff. dont feel like eating it eventho im starving! thats the problem with me, i want things like how i want it *especially food* otherwise i'll be super dissapointed.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

confession of a flight steward / flight attendant / cabin crew

Pack, unpack, pack, unpack, pack, unpack, pack, unpack, pack, unpack, pack, unpack and repack again. *repeat this whole process till you resign, retired or sacked*

Oooooommmmggggg! Im freaking tired wei! Last monday i did labuan nightstop, then a 3 days trip and tomorrow hanoi daily flight. Im so freakinh tired of packing and unpacking my trolley bag. After this hanoi flight, im looking at a 6 days trip that involve 3 different location and country, and shortly after that m doing yet another nightstop. Im tired, seriously! Plus school holiday just only starting, so you can imagine the load and the pax profile. Sometimes i feel those parents who isnt doing much in restraining their childrens that they are making the aircraft like a playground. Seriously! When you tell them off, just giv em 10 min max, then you'll see them back on the aisle. Haiyo tak takut ke anak kau jatuh tergolek and langgar armrest kalau-kalau ade turbulance! Im not your nanny! Plus tadi ade pax mintak tolong angkat beg dia yang semacam berat, oleh kerana beliau seorang elderly passenger (kalau sebut orang tua macam rude pulak) saya pun tolong beliau. Tengok-tengok belakang dia ade another 20 passenger yang umur lebih kurang dier and semua mintak tolong angkat beg mereka-mereka. Wei boleh patah belakang aku! Yes, i know ur old but not being able to carry heavy stuff doesnt mean u can bring a freaking 10 kilo bag into the cabin. Jeez be considerate la... Nuff with my #crewlife talk. Basically its the same shit but diff people and diff place.
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Thursday, May 26, 2011

you're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore

Honestly ive been watching grey's anatomy too much. Too damn freaking much wey. To the point im too absorb in the whole 'hardcore' concept. Yeeeeerp, hardcore. If you happen to be a grey-ians you should know this whole concept of hardcore. Some sort of a living legend. The first, the one or the 'the person'. Sometimes i just felt like i want to be that hardcore person in t airline. Maybe the one who survived a serious emergency, the one made a biiiig statement or just someone who survived something big. Im just bored with my daily routine maybe. I need that something to steer me off course for awhile. Hahaha how i always imagine if something happen in my flight, would i; panic? perform as per procedure? runaway? collapse? hahaha i just like to feel important but not incharge. Owh well just hope that one day i might land an aircraft and save everyone. Hahahah
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Friday, May 20, 2011

up or down, left or right, tight or loose, ginger or tumeric, to be or not to be

"to be or not to be is the question..."

Back then it was just a meaningless sentence to me. To me life, our fate or almost everything in life is a series of choices, after one another. And of course as we go on the choices is gonna get tough. Involving other people and consequences. To love or to hate? To obey or to retaliate? And in the end, to live or to or to die? Can we live without making choices or decision? Can we live without having the consequences in our decision? Can we have some other people decide for us and let them suffer the consequences? Absolutely N-O. When you put two of the most important things in life in the line; between the things that you want and the things that you love, then you'll start to evaluate the best option around but fail to realise that its a double edge sword. Doesnt matter what do you choose, there's no 'the best option' its only what u like and what others may like. So in the end you'll stuck wether you are here to please others or you, yourself? It gets even more frustrated if that 'others' is refering to you family. For as long you remember they're always wiling to 'take one for the team' but when it comes to you, yourself, do you wiling to do the same? So from basically when u tell someone to choose something its not just either 'a.' or 'b.'. Its not that simple. If god wanna make things simple, there would only be one planet with one tree, one animal and one human on it. In the end one would rather die than had to choose. Eventho running is always a choice but i aint a coward. I have to face the music. I have to choose. Coz that is life. To be or not to be.
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Thursday, May 19, 2011

theres hope after all

Four days to go till pay day and im still have a few hundred in my account. How great is that? Eventho i bought a new handphone, spend a few hundred overseas and went out and hav fun i still manage to save up a lil bit. Few hundred aint much but still despite all the complains ive been doin this past few months, i still manage to sav up a lil bit. There's still hope after all. So if i cant make it for london this year, its 2012 then. I shall be in london when 20/12/2012 strikes. If i die, at least i die accomplishing my wish. Hahahaha. Hopefully i could save up alot for my shopping trip. 16 months, lotsof time for me to save. Let say if i save 500/monthly, 500 x 16, is around 8k and plus minus the currency exchange rate i should have around 1.5-2k pounds. Like that gonna happen... hahhaha owh well at least im trying. Ala since im not gonna pay for the tix fare and most probably accomodation is so foc, so 2k for a week is alot lah kan? Even i have never spend MYR 2k in a week. Huhuhu

I was watching a knight's tale just now, i was thinking, kan best if i were born on that age. That bronze, silver and gold age. Im really a big fan of swords, knights, crossbow and stuff. Ive always imagine myself if i were to live in that era, i would have a freaking huge longsword, with a tower shield, a small tanto for my side arm, a set of plate mail, on a red horse i named the ferrari. Hahahha strider, rush or maple maybe. I would be like those templar knight thinggy who roam across england and the world and steals artifact. Hahahahahaha who am i kidding? Nak tangkap tikus pun menjerit2 cam perempuan. Ive always like all this old school war kinda stuff, coz modern warfare is like fucking lame to me. I mean with all this tech and stuff you can just simply blow up another country with just a click of a button. I mean back then it was all pure brute force and strategy. Right now whoever has the most tech is the winner. Back then weapons are all steel and metal, now u got biological warfare lah, drones lah, tactical missile lah and of course NU-freaking-KE. I mean nowadays punye warfare is actually penakut warfare. U can kill an enemy miles away dalam memalam buat, all thaxs to night vission and dragunov. We've become lazy and lazier. In every way, literally. Not just warfare. I mean back then people died of plague, war and stuff but u hav never heard of people dying because of too much to eat, too much drinking, too much of all the wrong stuff. We gotten lazy and lazier.
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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

English got my tongue

Recently... owh well not recently ive technically met her at clubs and after clubs couple of times but that doesnt count since we dont really had sober conversation and did sober stuff. Well anyway recently i met this another stewardess from other airline introduced by my partner in crime. Not to talk about her looks and personality btw *eventho she's like 'i realllly like that' kinda hot :p* she talks like weeeeaallly el perfecto englisho, with an accent by the way. The fact that she has a TESL background makes her even more intimidating. If you really read my el blogo, you should know that my english is aeons behind perfect. Mistakes here and there, missing 's' everywhere, stupid vocabulary mistakes and stuff. Eventho she doesnt really care how you use your english, as long as you get the msg across but for some reason everytime we had a conversation i felt like im writting an essay. I wrote the responds on my brainpad, look for silly mistakes and submit. But most of the time i took longer time to process than the flow of our conversation. Senang cerita i baru nak respond dah tukar topic or my reponds is too short. Hahaha stupid ey? I dunno lah, she's an interesting person but i can seem to handle her great english. I like being around her, she's an interesting person but entah i felt like i need to speak proper and el perfecto english with her. Urgh. But sometimes i always ponder how did my english get from baaaaaad to ok-lah. I still remember when i was in high school i was in the english society club, and they had this 'small talk english session'. Its when they randomly pick people to sit in groups and have small conversation about anything and if there's any mistakes the people in your group will try to correct it. So there's one day i was talking about random stuff, and suddently this one girl in my group told me to stop and say i better stop speaking in english and continue in bm because it was too broken. Yeah she was that rude and of course there was a 10 second awkward silent but come on, i was trying reaaally hard back then. I play game book with a dictionary on my side, i read bedtime stories when i was twelve coz my level punye buku terlalu susah apperantly masa tue. I really envy my bestie how good her english is. She's like a moving dictionary. Hahaha sorry.

Moving on
... am now in jhb. Watching no reservation (cat zeta jones and that guy from thank you for smoking is in it). This movie teleports me back to my basic western cooking class. Aaaaaaah i miss cooking.

Lepas baca ape i tulis ney felt rather silly to blog about this, hahah i wonder what she'll think about me if she reads this. Owh well ive made this blog perfectly hidden to most of my friend. Hihihi yeah she taken btw. And yeah she tot i was gay. El fuck upo... and owh yea she got a vlog channel on youtube.
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Sunday, May 15, 2011

cerita kedai kopi

Refering to our small petty talk at the mamak and our lepak spot;

"girls nowadays is all about the ka-bling and the ka-ching..."

"gayness is measured by how tight the tee of the particular guy is wearing *pointing at me*..."

"usually when we go clubing, is to fish girls but tonight its filled with fisherman but no fish..."

"that mamak place looks quite convincing about the food poisoning part..."

So yeah nothing much goin on right now....
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Saturday, May 14, 2011

3rd wheel

Menjadi roda ke tiga sungguh tidak seronok dan menarik
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One thing about my line of work, it has made me fell lonely. I rather be occupied with than staying home. One thing in t airline, you could never be 'thaaaaaat' close to a person to a point you can hang outside of working hour. Im too lazy to go back to shah alam to hang with my shah alam friends, m already not that close anymore with my bands friends and my batchmate are all over asia. Plus my roster requires me to work during weekends and public holiday, meaning im working whilst normal people are at home and ill be home when everybody else is working. Sometimes i complain bout how bad my roster is, but to think about it the more i work, the less lonely i get. I rather be a workaholic than being stranded at home and got nothing to do. Most of outdoors hobbies require at least a partner, and most of people around me doesnt share the same intrest as me; wallclimbing, skimboarding, hiking etc. Getting a other half is out of the question since seriosly i cant afford all the commitment and spending. Not yet, not just yet. If i could turn.back time i would seriously think again bout getting my WTD, yup mummy u were right. Rushing is never a good thing especially when it comes to something thhhhhat big. I really envy my friends who doesnt hav big commitments, spending money on stuff really matters, a bed, plasma tv, going out and having fun, a beach retreat etc. Im trying to save money but that seems to be an impossible mission. Always endup broke at the end of the month. My 2011 resolution was act:-
a. To go to london on boxing day and celebrating new year abroad
b. Being slim and fit
c. Save up money to see sarah brightman live anywhere in t world

But all these seems a long way down the road. I dont wanna waste my first 5 years with nothing. Those are 3 simple resolution requires lotsof money and dicipline. Susah? Yup but achievable i think if i put in my heart and soul.

The other day on my DXB/KUL i met a 22 years old australian who owns a house, a car and a small studio. He doesnt earn a lot. Roughly he said he earns about AUD 1.8k/montly and yet he can save up few hundred a few months. I asked him how he did it? "it takes lotsof discipline bro, i technically stop clubbing and smoking". He even said his first target was to buy a bottle of crystal (a 4 feet high champagne bottle that cost USD 5k) which he did in dubai the other day. Sounds stupid but i really salute him to manage to so all this at the age of 22. Back then when i was 22 i only earn less than a thousand per month. How i wish that things in malaysia would be better for me and all the people. Most of us are underpaid due to corruption and etc. Sigh how i wish.
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Thursday, May 12, 2011

Level Up

At times im a very competitive person, kiasu. Ill try to score the highest point in every game, run the fastest, be the first one and be the one. Back then when i was in high school, i know that i would never be good at physics and chemistry, so i was on a never ending battle with few nerd friends i have on maths subjects. Who can finish the question fastest but with the most shortest answer or who can understand the subject before any of us do. I really like math because of the competition we had and cos of course im good at it. Even when i was in college me and my mates always battle out on who can kneat the dough faster, who can count the calories the fastest etc. My kiasu-ness goes a notch up when i did my internship. Since it was a work+study thinggy so there was so many other students there, from uitm, inti, indonesian hospitality school etc. So i was there rep my college. It was serious kiasu-ness. To be the best among em all. It was tiring, but it was fun. Like real fun. Running around the hotel and trying to beat others. And now im in MAS. I was rather dissapointed things are. There isnt so much of competition here since things doesnt so much requires lotsof assignments and stuff. A very routine job. So your 'excel-ness' is measured by your seniority. There's isnt any dateline to catch up, theres no work that requires me to do research and stuff plus there no presantation. Eventho in reality my job is actually hard coz -

Cabin Crew = safety officer + fire fighter + doctor + bouncer + policia + bar tender + waiter + cook + cleaners +butler + a hundreds more jobs.

But tho im a jack of all trades, i have no room to concerntrate on a topic. Too many things in my job scope. So olately ive been picking up running/jogging. Its the only way for me to keep on competing. Breaking my own records. Its the only way for me to keep.on competing with myself.
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Saturday, May 7, 2011


nak tulis tapi ayat x keluar. nak tulis about how dubai is a nice place but also not a nice place at the same time. nak tulis about how dubai is not so much a place for a vacay. nak tulis about how oil makes them super arrogant. nak tulis pasal how good are they with town planning, architecture, spending money and racism but they are bad with preserving their culture and heritage. nak tulis about how good their malls is but their human skills are as bad as my shit. nak tulis about how tall is the burj khalifa and how short are they in courtesy. nak tulis how fast are they cars and how slow are they in intellectual growth and maturity. nak tulis pasal pak arab yang sangat ikut garis panduan agama pasal kahwin empat dan darjat perempuan di dalam society tapi when it comes to everythng else dah macam yahud. i wanna write about my 6 long days experience in dubai but im wordless (or speechless?).

people come and they'll fo sure go

last thursday my stepmom just passed away. i dunno what's her COD, but i guess it must have ada kene mengena dengan her stroke last year. am i oblige to be sad? i mean for as long as i can remember she has never pop-up in any childhood memories that i have. yeah basically she's nothing more than a stranger to me. no im not bad mouthing her, its just that i've never met her as in sit down, talk and stuff. plus our whole dysfunctional family are a bit awkward (or scared maybe) to talk about each other. my mum dont talk about dad or even the other way around. sort of macam taboo pulak tak boleh nak cerita-cerita. yeah im sedekah-ing al fatihah to her, im forgiving for anything she did intentionally or unintentionally. it was never her choice for my dad to marry my mum (ok thats a whole another diff story). so if there's any grudge that i have, it would be to my dad and no one else.

to make things even weirder, on my dubai flight the other day i flew with a long lost aunt. she's a WB LSS who hav been flying for 19 fucking years. so we were talking the other day, she was explaining how are we related, and start giving me names which doesnt even rang any bells. then it struck me, i dont fucking know my heritage maaaan. i dont fucking know anyone in my family on my dad's side. how fuck up is that? who knows one day i might fall in love with someone who im related to. how sick is that!? gawd! its not that i dont wanna know them, its just i think thing are a bit cold between us. the dramas, the wayang kulit and stuff. tah la... dunno.... malas... its a long story kalau cerita why and stuff, dah la im not the type who talk about my problems especially concerning my family to others. anyway lets sedekah al-fatihah to my late step mother. al-fatihah...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

what would you do?

what if one day you found out that you're gonna die soon. like real soon... let say one day suddently out of the blue you are diagnose with aa... emm cancer maybe? HEP B maybe? an unknown disease maybe? HIV maybe? or maybe an incurable tumor. nope you're not gonna die immediately but you are gonna live a harsh and excruciating 36 months and gonna die with a painful death. what you gonna do? i mean are like gonna start doing all those bungee jump, freefall kinda stuff or even go to you oldest crush and tell her/him how you feel? i mean come on get real! who would actually wants to be with someone who has a very short expiry date? how would you feel that you have to quit your job just because you medical state doesnt allow you to do heavy lifting jobs? how would you feel if you are bedridden and your family members has to suffer by carrying you out, here and there? how would you feel when you can only sit and do nothing when the medical expenses for you is gonna be as high as the mount everest! how would you feel when friends starting to drawn away from you? get left behind? or maybe how would you feel for the first time in your life you has no control over anything; being hopeless!? they say having near death exp gonna make you feel closer to god? but to me its not the exp makes you closer to god, but being scared of dead, dying or death itself makes you closer to god. but honestly speaking i think knowing when and how you're gonna die, isnt it even waaaay better that waiting for it to come? like you can plan things, you have the hours or days to count. you know when to say goodbye. at least you know whats coming or whats gonna hit ye. owh well i for one thinks that suicide is waaaay better than a hard and painful death.

Friday, January 7, 2011

broke my back

initially i wanted to write a post on the passenger. i wanted to write about all those snobbish, fussy, ridiculous, ignorance, good, annoying, moronic etc passenger. yup bitching about the people who i served, who annoy the hell out of me but at the same time the person who pays my salary. but then again i cant think of any long sentence to describe every each one of em. they annoy the hell out of me to the point i cant make up any long sentence to really explain how they treat the crew member. just one simple word will do. haha

owh well lemme try to writesomthing about them here *since thats the whole point of this blog* haha
a. the travelling businessman - they often seen with a cabin size trolley bag and a laptop bag. no complains easy to deal with. they know where they seat. they know how to arrange they luggage on the compartment. no complains!
b. indians - refering to the indians from india *the one who russel always make jokes about*. for some reason they happen to love water and cola. the moment they board the aircraft they gonna start telling you a sad sad sad looooong story about how they get thirsty and they want some water! dont tell me they dont sell water at the airport? they tend to be fussy about everything. there's always something wrong about something. the other day an indian passenger said that i was incompetent because he didnt ordered any vegetarian meal and when i was serving him i couldnt get any vegerarian meal, so because of that i was an incopetent! WTF! and they also carry like humongous bag which according to them they thought that it is cabin sized. *are you kidding me?* dah la besar, lepas tue berat gila bapak! last but not least they never order everything on one time they like the crew to walk ulang-alik dari galley to them. make them feel superior kot!
c. the tour group - usually its chinese from ROC or taiwan. consist 15 or more of them. they treat the aircraft like a bus. as if the seating is not numbered. they seat according to them, as long as they sat together its ok for them! i dont mind if they bought the whole aircraft buuuut, there's other passenger too you know!
d. the helpful type - little that they know that their 'exra hand' is not needed actually. m refering to those who like to rearrange the stuff on the meal tray so that *to them* it would make our work easier, yeah by stacking 4 trays on to one tray. good thinkking mate! try to put you mind on to the aircraft for a moment dude, its a small aircraft with a limited space, to fully utilize the space thing should go out and in as they are. haih.
e. the irresponsible travelling family - this im dedicating to the family who doesnt know how to reach the airport early and to do an early checkins. i mean why do you burden us with your problem not seating together?! since its all you mistake in the first place for not coming early and not having the privilages to choose your seat. ok maybe im being inconsiderate but sometimes the flight is only an hour so cant you just be separated for an hour?! come on!!!! plus sometimes you have your infants with you and all and why cant you just prepared all the milk and stuff at the hotel/home? time boarding lah nak itu, ini etc. and then bila nak tukar pampers, FYI you should do it in the toilet NOT IN THE CABIN FOR GODSAKE! lepas tue nak pass pampers tue kat the crew!
f. workers - saya suka mereka! senang in everyway. they're not fussy and stuff. they dont have much request except for beers, whisky and stuff. but other than that they are A-OK.
g. DHC - dead heading crew. no they dont cause me any problems or anything. its just that everytime i have one on my flight i felt like my every step and action is being monitored by someone. AWKWARDD! huhu
h. the balik kampung - pergi/balik semua masalah! why? since their cargo bag allowance dah penuh so they would carry all those other stff nak bawak balik kampung or the other way around balik! tamau bayar over weight so sumbat dalam cabin je lah, regardless the size. and then if korang masuk aircraft lambat nak salahkan cabin sempit dan kecik sebab tak mampu nak masukkan 10 bag dorang. USE YOUR BLODDY COMMONSENSE laaa. lepas tue bawak something fragile nak suruh jaga2 dengan barang tue, kalau fragile sangat letak lah bawah seat, owh i forgot its to big to put under ur precious ass.
i. the aunties and the uncles - bawak beg gedabak besar and expext the crew to carry it for them! i mean kalau dah tak larat masukkan kan je lah dalam cargo plus kalau dah larat bawak sampai ke aircraft what seems to be the problem to carry it just a lttle bit more?! come on its not that i dont wanna help can you please imagine if i have to help 10 of you every day on every each flight, by end of the month i would endup in the hospital dah! and yeah i call em the aunties and the uncles its not because that they old, they complain and act like they one!

there's really a few bunch more of them but i really cant put it here since i felt that nanti bunyi macam like im a super racist kinda dude!

"why do we carry the ignorance of our passenger on our shoulder?"