Saturday, November 13, 2010

rick castle, kate beckett and nikki heat

saturday, 13th of november 2010.

to some people today might has just been some regular saturday, regular weekend, doing what they regularly do, with people whom they always regularly spend time with on a regular 13th and to them its just a day to pass by, to live on, to go tru or to face. after spending 5 hours on a couch doin a rick castle and kate beckett marathon (refering to Castle on starworld) i realized that there was actually two ways of me spending the day which in a way might affect me and my future.

before i dig deeper into that hole let me explain something first. i was a librarian back then in primary school, then in highschool i was in science stream, quite active in sports later after that i studied hospitality management and catering and now im in aviation+f&b industry. notice anything? nothing seems to be connected or related to one another. i dont have a single clue what i actually love or want to do! i dont plan things, things just seems to fall into place and i just go with the flow. i obviously didnt plan things to be how they are right now, but then again I THINK this is what was i meant to do. I THINK. how can i know for sure? and to make things even more worst there's emirates interview today. why im so "kanciong" all about it, *teet* owh thats the pause button.

annnnnyway i was saying that there was two ways of me spending my day today. i was on stand by (3am - 11am) which i called em up at 12am last night and they assigned me with a simple CGK 2 sector flight. and so i did that flight. it was nothing much same ol' thing day in day out. THATS THE THING! its the same thing day in day out. ive just realized that that being here, not trying to look at other option, to look at other things or to look into me what i really want or in other word im in my comfort zone. im too afraid to go out. im afraid that the thing that i have my passion in might dissapoint me. might not be something out of the ordinary after all. to make things even worst, it doesnt even have a single drop of science stream, hospitality management or even f&b. what if ive been wasting my time at something i wasnt suppose to. just like how im afraid to meet new people, that is how im afraid of getting to know myself.

so my other choice of road for today was actually take an mc for today and go for that interview. its not that if i went there and i will IMMEDIATELY got the job and so on, but at least i know wether venturing deeper into this aviation thinggy is actually ME! i actually wanted to, but there was a little tiny feeling that start giving some small issues and excuse for not going to that interview. in a way i chickened out. i dont really know how to explain this but i would really love to go to abu dhabi and start exploring the world while working along side "international" people *giggles*. owh well there's always next time kan? i might just gonna let things fall into place and see where it leads me.

p.s - after fasting on greys for sooooo long ive met a new "TV drama friend". Castle!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

love, weddings and changes

woaw im impressed with myself. i manage to write a post which use 99.9% english word but not with good or right vocabulary *refering to my previous post*. hahah yes that was the whole point of this blog initially, to improve my english thus making me more confident to use and speak english everytime and anytime.

moving on
few days back, a good friend of mine and my ex-neighbor got married. in such a way it was also sorta like our small reunion. 12 out of 16 09/09-ians came to the wedding. it was fun i would say as i could see the changes that the airline gave to each and every one of us. *giggles* owh well the focus is not to them or the reunion thinggy but its the wedding. hasse and mimi's day i would call it. i've went to numerous weddings but for the first time, i actually envied the couple getting married. nooooooooo its not that i got the hots for mimi or something butttttt, its the whole 'i love you' mood. it made me felt lonely. yup, ive been single most of my life. i always depend on my friends to make me feel less lonely but still at night or at times there are moment where i find myself alone and have no one. i for one really believes that money is everything. it could buy anything from a person to love. but on that day i believe that both of them have something that not even money could buy. which i cant explain. it sorta like an X-factor. hohoho i dont know when i talk about all this love stuff i would always feeling sorry for myself. why you ask?

a. getting over diana (my ex) was the easy part but getting over the fact that our relationship is never ever gonna work out anymore was another thing. i would sometimes found myself texting her whenever im lonely. at times i would able to stop myself from doing so, but most of the times i cant. i believe when i saw her with someone else back then that made me realize that its over. ITS OVERR!
b. yup relationship is expensive, but how come some of my friends who earn 1/2 of what im making every month is able to do stuff with their other half e.g holidays, eat at fancy restaurant etc
c. being single for a long period has it perks, yeah i am able to have fun and go all out with no boundaries and such. but after that long 4 years i endup losing my touch or momentum in this 'game'. a player who pause his game for so long and endup forgetting how to even play the game.

*refering to c* yup isnt it sad when i look at someone, but i fail to have any feelings for her. to make things even worst i dont even know how to 'usha' any girls anymore. isnt it sad? i feel like a guy who is reaching his mid 70's and found out that 'i could not get it UP anymore'. urgh. owh well if could manage to stay single for this long why not just stay a bit longer and see where this road takes me. *wink* *wink*

on the other hand
sally is moving out from my house. so thats left me with char, cryst and not forgetting the mother of all brat, silver. *i dunno for some reason i like to blame silver for all the mess in the house :P* i dont quite like the idea of "moving on". if it possible i would really like thing to be same for a loooooooong period. the fact that sally is moving out is really sad since i dont have anyone who is so much of a high roller in the house. plus at least sally would give me a hand or two to clean up the house. urgh. i hate changes. i would really love to have wanie and hairul at 9th floor again. that would be a good change. :P

last but not least
flights hasnt been good nor bad. so-so for me this past few months. so far internationally ive went to

a. Dubai, UAE
b. Perth, Australi
c. Colombo, Sri Lanka
d. Incheon/Seoul, South Korea
e. Taipei, Taiwan
f. Beijing, ROC
g. Jakarta, Indonesia
h. New Delhi, India

this job has able me to see thing in a very wide perspective and thus making me appreciate to be in Malaysia instead of some other countries. no matter how bad this here, there's always some place elsewhere which is 100 times lagi teruk. i like flying and i dont really think i could stop. its not something i thought i would like but owh well life has gazillion ways in surprising you.

owh yeah i forgot, i really wanted to blog about Beijing and i totally forgot. the other day i did Beijing nightstop (or international terms they would call it layover). i notice in Beijing there's a lots of imitation stuff and im not talking about your usual D&G, Gucci, Guess or Rolex but in Beijing you can found all sort of stuff being 'pirated' from salvatore, hermes to even samsonite and moleskine. i mean WTF! are you like f-ing serious. me myself has always been crazy about labels (or in other word LABEL FREAK!) and stuff, but after Beijing i sorta felt rugi and menyesal for being such a dunce in fashion. i donno when i wear all this expensive label, i felt like im flying uppp in the sky (even tho flying is my job but this is diff). anywaaay when im in beijing it suddently strike me, what if all this while those stuff i bought from those designers label shop is actually the same thing that those chinamen pruducts in beijing? what if? would i still be flying or crashing down?

before i leave
i think my new year's resolution for next year is to be a grown up! i hope i dont fail miserably... AGAIN.

p.s at last ive manage to update my blog with a fragment of my everyday life. eventho i think nobody reads em, at least this is one place i could talk (write) freely. i dont talk about myself to people so at least i write it down. :)

work, working and earning money

i almost forgot that i have a blog. *giggles*

at first i thought being a grown up its all about work, working and earning money. no no i got it all wrong. i think if you pick anyone in this world i guess he/she could work and earn anytime or anywhere. but not all can cope with all the responsibilities and commitments that grown ups suppose to deal with. for instance how would one divide its salary(X) into a few categories - car+loans+etc(w), shop(y), savings(z), insurance(a), emergency money(b) and miscellaneous(c). let see supposedly its should be like this

x = w + y + z + a + b + c

easy right? on paper yup it looks terribly easy!! simple as 1,2,3! but i endup doing

x = w + 4(y) + ( 0 x ( z + b ) ) + a + 0.5(c)

its almost been 2 years ive been in this company and yet not a single cent ive manage to save. especially this month i really felt that emergency money is really important since i splurge on unnecessary things and forgot about the real important stuff. plus my car is playing some jokes on me the other day, my car wouldnt start. it took me roughly 1/2 an hour to get it started. so in the end i had to borrow money from my brother for my daily spending and to service my car. i would not blame this on god or to somebody else, since this is 100% purely my mistakes all the way. usually i would blaming god for why putting all this bala on me and stuff but when i look at it in a different perspective, god has blessed me with a wonderful job, good friends, supportive family and a naughty cat but i failed to be grateful with i have and always wanting more. so i guess being grown up is not about the job or work you're doing, its not the number you carry in your atm every end of the month but its the ability to manage yourself. i guess im not a grown up yet. i fail, miserably...

p.s = i guess next month i need to add debts(d) in the equation

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

*wink* *wink*

due to the recession, cost cutting and etc, my roster has been C-R-A-Z-Y lately. working for almost 12 hours everyday and having only 1-2 days of between few days of working straight. urgh. i really dont know what are they trying to prove here? being the jack of all trade isnt enough for them i guess they want us to be like robots kot. to live and die for work. eventho i hate all this "24/7 working" stuff, there's a part of me liking all this shit since im too occupied with work till i have no problems to worry about all those small and little problems of mine. :) stupid, i know. hahaha

just came back from maldives/colombo, sri lanka the other day. i guess because of all the jetlag, night flight and world cup match, ive become a nocturnal sekejap. its funny when im all awake at night but all sleepy around 8am like that. hahahha i would spend all night long watching "i dont know what" till morning and sleep. it took me awhile to regulate my sleeping pattern again. funny.

on the otherside
hencem gave me his "premonition" that i'll end my single life in about 3 months. hahahah cant wait eyy. bestie has moved to Arena Green Apart. along with hencem. :(
went there to have coffee with em. it was all nice and cozy because of the balcony! jealous!!!! :P

btw dah lama x balik shah harlem. rindu porn! hahahah

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

"on my feet i wear two shoes for dancing, dancing to be free..."

a friend asked me "dude why did u decide to stay single all this while? i mean malaysian girls are not good enuf fo you ke?" for the first time i came up with an answer which i felt really really really masuk akal. i sed relationship is messy, time consuming and expensive. i cant even buy what i wanted all this while so why do i think i can afford a relationship? plus those around me yang not single pun caught up in a messy situation which made me less confidence in having a steady relationship. plus i think im happier this way; i have a bestie which i can talk to about everything, friends that i can count on and silver which i can hug whenever im lonely.

just finished my airbus class. yup finally. i would say being in a wide body aircraft made me fening-fening sikit. for some reason. maybe its too big for me kot. tak boleh handle. :P *sound sooo wrong in so many ways hahah* walaupun i dapat pening-pening on my SNYs, that doesnt mean i didnt enjoyed my SNYs. to tell you the truth, all those rumors saying bout WB crew are sombong and stuff is totally tipu-tipuan belaka. i enjoyed talking and working with them. nothing much diff than NB crew. semua sama je.

moving on
my car punya milelage is almost to 10K. weeeee. *lameee*

nothing much to write about tho. my life hasnt been anymore interesting lately. owh yeah my bestie is going to move to somewhere to be comfirm later. m gonna miss her dearly! shoot shall write agin when i have the idea what to write about... sigh...

Thursday, May 6, 2010

a330 conversion class

1 - kul/lgk/kul/btu/kul
2 - off
3 - 28 a330 conversion class
29 - off
30 - kul/sbw
31 - sbw/kul

owhmefuckingawd! i guess ill be eating sand and drinking air next month. haih eventho im looking forward for this a330 conversion class but can they at least give me a trip ke, tpe one day off ke or anything such. rostering peeps are mean people. sigh. owh well m currently doing my service procedure a.k.a new service delivery (nsd) class. yeah its very much different from 737-400 gccl service since there more people to serve, more personalized service and semakin leceh. the only thing that im wondering, do they really practice as how written in the book or follow each and every guidelines given by CCTS (cabin crew training & standards). its really weird dulu when i was in class i tot i got everything at my fingertips tapi bile go on board things are very much different than what we used to learn in class.

for this a330 conver. class m doin with half of batch 09/09, letticia, hidayah and few others from batch 08/09 and 10/09. yup its good to do this class with new people and stuff but i really miss my 09/09 smoking buddies and especially my bestie! WANIE WHERE ART THOU! CEPAT SIKIT DATANG BUAT RECURRENT! there used to be like all 6 of us would go to the lala land (behind MAA guest house) to smoke and bitch bout everyone. hahahha not to mention the syed session after class where we would study together. i really love that part of me life. eventho masa training i wish that time would speed up tapi bile dah habis, i nak time to rewind itself pulak. haih. anyhow my new found smoking buddies pun not bad jugak lah. hahahhaha


Sunday, April 18, 2010


"trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fuckers reflection..."

yup very true gaga.

i really think there is such thing as second chance (eventho she cheated on me 3 kali k), but i cant. everytime i look at her there's this insecurity feeling, there's this voice telling me "she's using you oniiiiii". someone said i kuat memilih, but the fact is i just not into anyone except her. how can that be? how should i know? so the only way for me to not think about her is work. work like mad. mutual on every chance i get. yeah it cuts both i knoe. the more tired i get, the more depressed i get. tell me about it. smoking alone is no fun anymore since ill be depressed enuf to be not in the mood for anything even kerja. how can one get over someone? tell me...

"im feeling all superhuman you did this to me, a superhuman heart beats in me, nothing can stop me..."

owh well im not superhuman anymore chris...

writers block kah?

its funny whenever im at my second home (where my desktop and internet connection is absence) i get tons of stuff to write about but when im here at home ill be speechless in front of my desktop. take this for instance, ive been depressed (as always) about life, karma and love especially lately and i tend to have deep and dark stuff to write about, but the minute i got home i'll be like "what was i depressed about??". maybe its the "home sweet home" aura, that gave me that feeling of comfort and security.

my job hasnt been so much of travelling since im packed with daily flights this month. i only have 3 nightstops; miri, taipei and kaoshiung. even worst my next month roster is packed with class and offdays ONLY. yup no flights at all (minus my airbus SNY). shit! i cant even tapau aircraft food since i dont have any flight at all. owh well look on the bright side, i can finally mutual for dubai, osaka and sydney flights.

life has been quite interesting tho, finally i can say that ive survived medium haul driving. wee i've leveled up! drove all the way to melaka the other day. went there with wanie, hairul and finaster. ate in jonker, tries the ikan bakar and went up in the taming sari tower a.k.a melaka solero shock! hahha

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

ehem eheemmm

this is life, like it or not honest people will never make it in life...

yup i do agree with my mum. honest people wil never make it in life. one has to suck up, became an ultimate champion in ass licking, stab or step on others and do anything in order for em to be succesful. so tru this opinion i came to a conclusion which to be happy (or succesfull) in life one had(need) to be very or ultimately evil. so where does karma fill in all this thing? the rich is getting richer and the poor is getting poorer. power plays an important role in life. if one doesnt have power(or influence) he/she will never get to be a puppetier and will always be the puppet. like what they always says "influence is like money, the less you use, the more you have and more you can buy..." isnt it?

am doing my 5 days trip. 2 nights in kch and 2 more nights in kk. its gonna be hell lotsof money for me next month. yeehaww.. i get to save and get to shop at the same time. yeah. things are getting around for me. 2010 what has you installed for me ya?

lately ive been thinking, since they also said that "there's always that special someone for you out there..." when they say out there, they didnt really point out to which direction. so should i be looking? or she can find her way to me? funny how this world works. if i go looking people would say ive been looking too much till i cant see what is infront of my eyes or ive been looking at the wrong place. if i dont look they will tell you to look or to look harder. what with this fairytale shit? as what adam sandler said in bedtime stories "there's no happy ending in life..." i do agree with that since we will endup die in our story. so where is that so called happy ending? but then again i would congratulate to those who actually find that happiness in life. you are truely one in a gazillion. since i dont really understand life. there's more to life than just life itself which ive yet to discover. aish what am i whinning about neyh? yet another period of my life which i cant stop complain about anything and everything. but all i can say that im hoping for the best. which i always do. having good friends really does help. so thanxs everyone.

Monday, March 8, 2010

when i was little

"good morning, welcome onboard..."

these are the four words that literally melt me when i board the aircraft or wal to my seat. i still remember when i was little, i would stare at their uniform and name tag wishing that it is me inside that uniform. hahah now only i realize how crazy i am about this job.

"ladies and gentlemen,
this is your seatbelt, to fasten, insert the metal link into the buckle and tighten the belt by pulling on the buckle strap..."

when i was little, how i really concentrate and pay attention to the safety demo. REALLY... you would see me standing or my head popped up either at the seat or at the aisle. i dont know whats about the safety demo that im really amazed about. maybe its the orange life vest that caught my eyes. kinky... :P

"today we're serving... would you like an orange juice with that?"

when i was little, i love airline food. i mean i freaking love it! to the point where i would eat before i go for a flight, in order for me to tapau the food and enjoy it when i got to the hotel or home. i freaking fell head over heels man. the orange juice... ohhh i wonder who was the steward/stewardess who kept refilling my tumbler everytime i go for a flight. kesian. hahaha

"*sniff* *sniff*, aaa i think its lemon..."

the same ol' lemon-ish smell that greets me when im seated at my seat. the smell that makes me really feel that im on an aircraft, going somewhere... for a holiday... away from home...


after 22 years of flying i still crazy about the aircraft food, juice, safety demo, the air re freshener and the crew. ini bukan statement menjilat punggung tetapi i still love all that stuff WHENEVER IM TRAVELLING AS A PASSENGER. i always wonder how did MAS won all those 5 star awards, try flying with other airlines especially those budjet airlines, then you'll know. :D ngeee

im at shah alam. m enjoying my 2 days off. at last i went to the frames which ive been wanting to go for like, ages already hahahhaha went there with cik wanie dan hencem. had our dessert in tony romas, pyramid. jauh kan?! and it took us 1 hour plus to get from ttdi to sunway. hahahha now only i appreciate working up there since i dont have to drive and even if there's traffic jam, im not the one who is driving. hahahha went jamming afterward with my shah alam bestie incik cd dan ms ema. lagu pelik-pelik sekarang dorang main. hebat!

actually the number one reason why i did this blog was actually to talk about my life and especially WORK. yup work as in travelling and stuff. yang pelik nye i have nothing to talk about my job. isnt it weird, how i complain this and that to my friends but i never really have something solid to write about. day in day out, its always the same routine that i did up there. nothing special, same type of passenger, nothing much on my set of crew and same ol' menu and service. so what is that somthing that i want to write about??! weird.

i really forgot to blog about this...
THANKS WANIE FOR THE LAVA LAMP! you know me that well huh!? sorry i didnt bought anything for your birthday. things hasnt been so kind to me lately (urr ever since the gate thinggy)

i guess everyone have their things to get before 2011 kan so here's my simple and short list.

- fisheye 2.0
- winter jacket
- new shoes
- guess collection watch
- bb bold 2 / goggle phone / iphone
- an acoustic guitar
- givency play

roster update
today - off
tomorrow - sbw NS
12,13 - kua SD

btw happy birthday to me comrades (mims, sally, atira, hidayah, max) february babies rawks!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

39 degree c and going up!

am currently in hilton kuching. single night stop. i guess i should just stop complaining and whining about how i tot being a cabin crew is everything and stuff. yeah i guess i should stop looking focusing on the negative energy and start appreciating for what i have. for instance not many can get this job eventho most of em sed "they are born for this..." and plus i get ride in aircraft for free (work purpose laa..). yeah i used to complain alot to my mum about how i want to balik kampung almost every month coz i get to be in the aircraft for 2 hours. hahahha tell me which 10 years old boy doesnt want that kan?!

owh well im having a mild flu serve with a mild fever and topped with a never ending cough. still im forcing my self to work. see! how dedicated i am to my job. i guess ini mmg season orang sakit kot. since wanie baru je sehat dari deman and same goes to almost everyone that i know in Green Avenue Condo. owh well had to work on CNY is really sux especially when you have to do night stop since most of... eh wait... all of the shops are closed (except for those fastfood restaurant... pity them who had to work...) owh well nothing much to update really. my birthday is comin peeps... cant really celebrate tho since im farking damn broke d, and its only early of the month. haih.

anyway peeps have a jolly V-day and a prosperous Chinese New Year.! gong xi gong xi

Sunday, January 24, 2010

"I know I could always be good..."

nothing much to write actually. im at home just came back from jakarta and straight terus drive to shah alam. its nice when you have that great song in your car to listen to while driving. aaa... life. hahha neway had a great time with my set crew in jakarta. even tho had to share room well we went everywhere and tried most of the food that we can get our hands on. it was like munch here, munch there, munch, munch and munch everywhere. (i wonder why everytime buat trip to anywhere the first agenda mesti always makan, makan and makan oni) went to X2 oso. imagine a club where there's like 5 section to go to, from R&B to house music. jeez why dont they have one here. besar gile kay tempat tue. had lotsof bakso the other day and not forgetting the ayam penyet. hihihi *giggles*

Monday, January 11, 2010

two o one o

hello 2010. nothing much to say. nothing much on my mind also. am alone in the house. c in the room with s. y is sleeping. just came back from denpasar daily flight. w is at shah alam. h is at kota bharu. a is doing 3 days trip. l is at home doin nothing. s is at pj. just got off the phone with sa. chill with ca just now. flew with k tadi. pissed with j. am thinking of her. tomorrow off. the day after stand by 0600 till 1400. this is currently whats happening right now. what awaits me tomorrow, the day after and so on, i absolutely have noooo idea. just hope that 2010 is going to be fantastic and fabulous. im off.