Saturday, August 11, 2012


sometimes i think that, all of this, is like a bad joke turned ugly.

balls of steel

saw a friend's status update on fb, asking what if the capt tells you that the a/c is going down, what you do? would you lock yoself in the toilet? would you spend a good 5 minutes crying yourself out? would you act professionally and pretend that its just yet another day? or would you literally do all of the above? what would you do? on most days i like to dwell myself in this sorta "what if" question, if it were me, i would definitely try as hard as i could to hold in my tears and yeah i would man up and be the man. THE man. not trying to say im trying to be that pendejo hero kinda thing, but its more like walking away with my dignity intact. i wouldnt want to be remembered as the kentucky fried CHICKEN! i wouldnt want my last memories in this life is me sitting in a toilet and crying like how i always cried on every greys season finale. nope i dont want that. i want to be as hardcore as i can. like how that string quartets stay put and put on their last performance as the titanic sank. hohoho i watch too much movies! too much...

owh anyway just finished my flying week and tomorrow back to GL again. probably this is the part where i confess that im actually at that "owh whatever" phase of GL. ive been into that whole retaliation, "owh dear god why?", denial and acceptance. seriously i really dont give any horse poo what in the world would happen in GL anymore. believe me when i say this, as this is already bad as how bad could get. nothing would surprise me anymore. tho im only rostered for KUA split duty and 3 days trip, but of course my set crew is the only part where it is interesting. flying for 3 years, i would say i sorta have seen everything. not to brag but everyday, day in, day out its the same thing all over again. not to say its boring but yeah, its like staring on a highway. its the same thing, cars come and go, but what kinda car that goes tru that road makes all the difference. it was uber fun. made me miss flying. made me hate the people responsible for all this nonsense. made me realize how much i hate being in GL all over again. made me sad that this kinda thing only made available for me, probably twice every month. no matter how tiring my sector is, no matter how f-up my pax could get, no matter how stressing the CDC *not the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention of course* could get at times, no matter who im flying with, no matter how long or draggy the flight could get, no matter what type or aircraft it is, no matter what, i would still be OK than being in GL. i signed up for flying, and i should be ok with what ever that comes with the job. i should and i will be OK. tho i might rant and complains, but at the end of the day i would be standing in the aircraft and me being there its nothing more that my obligation to my responsibility. in other word i would turn up se-ikhlas since itu lah tanggungjawab saya. but being in GL is just... being there just to pay my bills. just so that i dont endup jobless. yeah the job is interesting, the people are awesome and friendly *only a few that i would pretty much refer to the gremlins, dont do much but kept scaring people away* the job is quit easy, not to say that GL is bad all the way, no... it is actually not bad, not bad at all, but when you dont have the heart to do the job you are told to do, and of course the outcome would be so-so. and of course in GL i wouldnt need my balls of steel to be hardcore, coz i refuse to be hardcore at this. nope not this.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

St. Augustine

St. Augustine said,
''An unjust law is no law at all...''
which means l have a right, even a duty, to resist with violence or civil disobedience. You should pray l choose the latter.

- James Farmer Jr.
The Great Debater

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

dealing with it

it has come to that moment where i have to accept that things arent or will never get any better in anytime soon. the "coping" phase or should i say "acceptance" phase, i wouldnt say it is great but i wouldnt say it bad either. why? its not bad coz seeing how they treated the FY there, i would really much prefer being in my shoe but it is bad coz seriously i dont fucking belong here (i didnt apply for it) and of course suckie pay and long hours. imagine i went for work at 2230,1st of august and finish at 0900, 2nd of august and i need to go back for work at 2230, 2nd august. seriously WTF!! this aint what i was born for. ini hard labour nama nye tapi gaji sangat ciput bin sikit. this isnt how you treat your employees la. dulu, my lecturer used to say (in HR class) that the lowest graded or the front liners are like the pillars of the company, being the very foundation of the company. holds together the company from collapsing. thus having a strong and dependable pillars really helps a company stay strong for long years. but in my case the pillar that holds the foundation of the company is of course the gov. the employees doesnt really mean much for them. and of course it wouldnt make the company any better if they were to treat us any better (so they thought). to me, in the end it would all come back to this, "the level of happiness (in terms of welfare) of the employees would very much determine the company's success...", if you cant even take care of your own personel how do you expect to take care of your customer 10,000 feet above the ground?