random thoughts

bestie told me that "we are promised of an another half, but happiness was never part of that deal...." or something like that. life should have been fair to you since you have been fair to life or telling a lion that he shouldnt eat you because you dont eat lion. thats life, it never made any sense no matter how hard you try. u got caught up with loads of shits when you least expected, you get tangled up in complicated matter, no matter how carefully u have been, you will always be in all sortof situation at all sortof time. tho this are the setbacks in life, this are also the real thing that makes you feel alive. its like waking up in the morning knowing how exactly life is going to treat you is sure no fun at all. i like waking up in the morning, getting all sortof suprises, meeting new and old people and those kinda things. to a point your life might get pretty routine but one day when you have a certain someone that sets your purpose in life... that is all the reason you need to breath for another day... to run tru the storm... to survive yet another horror... to wake up in the morning. but then again some people use work as their definition in life. working like a mad dog to earn big fat cheque, drive fast cars and roll with the ballers. to me, yes money is close to everything... it sets how your life and how your childrens life is going to be but remember after working hard at work for the rest of your life and you are old and weak, nobody will remember what you did at work...

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twenty-fucking-one kilometer

so finally ive broken my vir-21KM-ginity, it was super freaking bloody effing epic tiring.

my timing

 official timing

good thing was i was the 1272th person to finish the half marathon out of 1759 people, meaning i was at the finishing line along with other racers, not early (how i wish) and not one of the least but the bad thing was, i was too goddamn arrogant to put on some vaseline (thought ive survived many 10-13KM marathon without any) on where it is blisters-prone-area, got blisters at the most un-sexy-est places evergh! my tities, armpits and me toe. sadly there wasnt any cam whoring session, so no pictures with me medals in me finisher tee. technically if a person were to do a half marathon in the future, he/she must be physically and mentally... yes! i repeat MENTALLY are ready to do nothing but walk+running for almost 3 hours. tho the people around you wont be any help (at the 18KM marker, there was runners bergelimpangan di jalanraya with their ice packs *owh shame on you event organiser, for not providing any cool sprays at every KM markers* and puking at the nearest longkang they can find). lemme give you my breakdown of my every kilometers.

01KM - ok! here we go!


03KM - still able to maintain my pace


06KM - a bit tired but still surviving

09KM - *taking out my instant energy chocolate* om noms noms noms

12KM - less running, more walking

15KM - dripping with pains, having that almost cramps pain, starting to regret joining this half marathon. what was i thinking? its already 2 hours... this is too much... but already passed the point of no return... oowh fuck this shit! fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkk!

18KM - every step is a torture, couldnt feel much of my legs... too tired... gotta keep goin... even if i have to crawl... dah dekat sangat... oh fuck... shit... dammit... fuck fuck fuckitty fuck...

21KM - HEAVEN!

not trying to be funny but this what was goin on in my mind during the race. most of the time i was cursing myself for joining this race. but the moment i step on the 21th KM marker... i was like aaaaammmmaaaaiiigggaaddddd at last...!!! LOL... my next half marathon should NOT be anytime soon i guess... need more training... probably ill try to RUN TO YOU... and see weather i cud? :P

愛、祈る、食べる

私はあなたを愛したいが、私は今私たちが持っているものを危険にさらすのが怖い

F-zoned

i got friendzoned for sooooo many times to the point i could make that "everytime i got friendzoned i got a penny..." joke. but for some reason this time i kinda feel f-up about it...

*wrote a full long karangan about this, but decided it wasnt appropriate to post.
 
did i mention that i ran in the adidas king of the road. tho i didnt managed to sign up for nike we run kl 10K, but still it was my first marathon after my ramadhan break. 10km was pretty much like 100km since the track was all straight and hilly. wasnt my best timing, but still i feel great finishing a 10km run.

yup a finisher medal. *semua orang dapat so no biggie*

great people that i ran with *sorry hanin curik gambar tak mintak permission*

oh yes people, i did not run, i was floating all the way.

my next run would be BSN night marathon and im competing in twenty fucking one KM. masa register 21km sounds like "meeeh... achieve-able lah", but not it doesnt seems as "meh" as before. hohoho i still have 13KM great eastern marathon after that and probably loads loads more to come. if you ask me about running, probably my target would be to compete in 100 marathon before i die. and atleast masa dah senior nnti, i would actually be racing for the podium. HOPEFULLY! 

moving on

at this point, im really just A-OK with GL dah. i just figure that there's nothing that i can do to change this, probably just go with the flow. im too tired too complain, im too tired to be NOT OK with GL, im too heart broken to feel anything, so i guess probably should just make full use of this GL thing. like how the passenger always says to me, "owh its a good thing kan? since you get to meet and interact with business and important people. who knows luck might just falls on you during meet and greet!". yeah that what my first and last m&g passenger said to me *and so does a few more i met in the lounge*. yeah who knows kan?

last but not least...

probably to me, buat masa sekarang running is the only thing that makes sense.

...

sometimes i think that, all of this, is like a bad joke turned ugly.

balls of steel

saw a friend's status update on fb, asking what if the capt tells you that the a/c is going down, what you do? would you lock yoself in the toilet? would you spend a good 5 minutes crying yourself out? would you act professionally and pretend that its just yet another day? or would you literally do all of the above? what would you do? on most days i like to dwell myself in this sorta "what if" question, if it were me, i would definitely try as hard as i could to hold in my tears and yeah i would man up and be the man. THE man. not trying to say im trying to be that pendejo hero kinda thing, but its more like walking away with my dignity intact. i wouldnt want to be remembered as the kentucky fried CHICKEN! i wouldnt want my last memories in this life is me sitting in a toilet and crying like how i always cried on every greys season finale. nope i dont want that. i want to be as hardcore as i can. like how that string quartets stay put and put on their last performance as the titanic sank. hohoho i watch too much movies! too much...

owh anyway just finished my flying week and tomorrow back to GL again. probably this is the part where i confess that im actually at that "owh whatever" phase of GL. ive been into that whole retaliation, "owh dear god why?", denial and acceptance. seriously i really dont give any horse poo what in the world would happen in GL anymore. believe me when i say this, as this is already bad as how bad could get. nothing would surprise me anymore. tho im only rostered for KUA split duty and 3 days trip, but of course my set crew is the only part where it is interesting. flying for 3 years, i would say i sorta have seen everything. not to brag but everyday, day in, day out its the same thing all over again. not to say its boring but yeah, its like staring on a highway. its the same thing, cars come and go, but what kinda car that goes tru that road makes all the difference. it was uber fun. made me miss flying. made me hate the people responsible for all this nonsense. made me realize how much i hate being in GL all over again. made me sad that this kinda thing only made available for me, probably twice every month. no matter how tiring my sector is, no matter how f-up my pax could get, no matter how stressing the CDC *not the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention of course* could get at times, no matter who im flying with, no matter how long or draggy the flight could get, no matter what type or aircraft it is, no matter what, i would still be OK than being in GL. i signed up for flying, and i should be ok with what ever that comes with the job. i should and i will be OK. tho i might rant and complains, but at the end of the day i would be standing in the aircraft and me being there its nothing more that my obligation to my responsibility. in other word i would turn up se-ikhlas since itu lah tanggungjawab saya. but being in GL is just... being there just to pay my bills. just so that i dont endup jobless. yeah the job is interesting, the people are awesome and friendly *only a few that i would pretty much refer to the gremlins, dont do much but kept scaring people away* the job is quit easy, not to say that GL is bad all the way, no... it is actually not bad, not bad at all, but when you dont have the heart to do the job you are told to do, and of course the outcome would be so-so. and of course in GL i wouldnt need my balls of steel to be hardcore, coz i refuse to be hardcore at this. nope not this.

St. Augustine

St. Augustine said,
''An unjust law is no law at all...''
which means l have a right, even a duty, to resist with violence or civil disobedience. You should pray l choose the latter.

- James Farmer Jr.
The Great Debater

dealing with it

it has come to that moment where i have to accept that things arent or will never get any better in anytime soon. the "coping" phase or should i say "acceptance" phase, i wouldnt say it is great but i wouldnt say it bad either. why? its not bad coz seeing how they treated the FY there, i would really much prefer being in my shoe but it is bad coz seriously i dont fucking belong here (i didnt apply for it) and of course suckie pay and long hours. imagine i went for work at 2230,1st of august and finish at 0900, 2nd of august and i need to go back for work at 2230, 2nd august. seriously WTF!! this aint what i was born for. ini hard labour nama nye tapi gaji sangat ciput bin sikit. this isnt how you treat your employees la. dulu, my lecturer used to say (in HR class) that the lowest graded or the front liners are like the pillars of the company, being the very foundation of the company. holds together the company from collapsing. thus having a strong and dependable pillars really helps a company stay strong for long years. but in my case the pillar that holds the foundation of the company is of course the gov. the employees doesnt really mean much for them. and of course it wouldnt make the company any better if they were to treat us any better (so they thought). to me, in the end it would all come back to this, "the level of happiness (in terms of welfare) of the employees would very much determine the company's success...", if you cant even take care of your own personel how do you expect to take care of your customer 10,000 feet above the ground?

dulu dan sekarang

dulu - daily flight dan layovers
sekarang - day shift dan night shift

dulu - 734, 738 atau airbus
sekarang - domestic, regional atau international

dulu - pickup lambat atau pickup awal
sekarang - pickup balik atau sendoff aje

dulu - different flight, diffrent crew
sekarang - different lounge, same faces

dulu - sebulan macam 30 jam je
sekarang - seminggu macam forever

dulu - mutual flights
sekarang - mutual... wtf is mutual?

dulu - trolley bag dan garment carrier
sekarang - ....

dulu - work hard, party harder
sekarang - work hard, sleep harder

just sayin....

"remember remember the 5th of november, the gunpowder treason and plot..."
-V

did any of you watched V for vendetta a while back ago? secara kasarnya its about a guy who spark a revolution in a country. there's a reason why he choose 5th of november, since back in the 16th century there was a bunch of guys who planned to kill some king in the parliament house by blowing the whole building to the ground. i believe one of the guys was guys fawkes. so itu lah kenapa V memilih 5th of november, topeng guy fawkes dan amik tube filled with explosive and crashing it straight down to the parliament house. it was all lined up to each other so that it would all make sense and people would actually understand the message that he was trying to send out. it would be somewhat misunderstood if he wear a ski mask, choose 4th of july and smoke the parliament house with biological weapon. it wouldnt make sense and probably most people wont be trying to get associated with. i believe when you trying revolt, resist, uprising, reform or what ever you trying to do, it would actually make sense to people and to the government or management especially. if you choose one date out of random and yes, only random people will be joining. IT GOTTA MAKE SENSE HOMEBOY! i just couldnt comprehend these people who do this kinda thing, they do it just because they just feel like doing it, not because they want to make something out of it or probably make a statement out of it otherwise your energy, money and time wasted in vain. just sayin.

ramadan and patient

when i say patient dont get me wrong, nobody is being hospitalized or anything, but im just merely referring to the act of long enduring or tolerant towards something. probably this is by far the most challenging puasa that i ever had to endure. puasa and ramadan isnt so much of a challenge is just u have to say no to the meals and drinks that u serve on board. but this year, with a closed heart and forced in doing stuff that probably i would never sign up if i were given a choice to choose. now i know the feeling of waking up and had to get ready and prepare myself for something that i wouldnt choose, i dont want to do or should i say i just had to do it because choosing isnt a privilege given to me. i just had to be here, otherwise i wouldnt have anything to put on the table at the end of the day. life is too cruel for me right now. pushing me to my limit, pushing me to the very end, testing me on every level, straining my veins etc. probably i wouldnt be surprise if i were to break down in tears one of these days.

"and when life gets tough and I feel I've had enough I hold on to a distant star..."

"Although you think I cope
My head is filled with hope of some place other than here
Although you think I smile
Inside and all the while I'm wondering about my destiny

I'm thinking about, all the things
I'd like to do in my life
I'm a dreamer, a distant dreamer
Dreaming far away from today..."

Duffy - Distant Dreamer

on to the next one!

BSN night marathon on oct 20th. 21KM bebeh!

dream a little dream

london, paris, new york, prague and of course ibiza. i couldnt help it, having all those dreams or hope to get there or spend the whole weekends in one of those places. of course seeing how things are i couldnt even possibly dream of having a glass of riesling while watching the sunset right at the background of the eiffel tower and sitting right by the port debilly pavement or perhaps running up and down in central park then off to battery park and spend the whole day in times square looking at people and stuff. theather in broadway, paintings in the lourve, subway in london, absinthe in ibiza and of course the medieval architechture in prague. no not even a glance of an image i could possibly imagine now. looking at how things are i guess these are the dreams that what they say its just unreachable. just will never be. of course it hasnt always been like this, last year i was all hype planning financially for a trip to london only to have it all crushed down by the company's downsizing plan. probably its just inevitable, somehow somewhere its going to happen but of course i couldnt help wondering why me? ive been nothing but a good boy in the company but why me? not to say that its sortof like a punishment but IT IS! why most of us who have been such a saint this past 3 years, have to be in this group where as there's hundreds more that probably i could say a total opposite from what we are. i really couldnt help to notice in the midst of this happening in the company, there are still those a little bunch who are hoping for a good thing to come, rest assured, im sure to say this but, it is called a downsizing dude! nothing good will come out of a downsizing! i could kepp on bla bla bla bla bla on this but i dont think its a healthy thing for me. anyway yeah all those places i dream about, naaah... probably i could just enjoy em on google street. probably i could just sat right at the curb down at my apartment and open up my lappy, set the google street to port debilly and pop a bottle of sparkling. yeah that is the best i could do right now

"ahhh thats the life..."

funny? sad? yeah my life is pretty sad right now. probably you might think that im a material kindof person, no... i only want to experience all this little things in life, but of course, ever since i was born "choice" isnt always been there for me. i just drove down the road in which the possibly best thing to do at the moment. they say "take risk and jump out of your comfort zone! you might surprise yourself..." of course i would surprise my self by being pennyless and homeless. i would take my chances but only if i feel really safe to take that chance, i wouldnt jump into a hole without knowing how deep it is... without knowing what awaits me... thats just not me. yeah "rezeki" is everywhere, but its a matter of would it be sufficient or not. i could just quit whatever im doing right now and became a server in some random restaurant but of course i would have to give my car to the bank and move out from my apartment. i love flying, there's not a minute spent not thinking about the destination that i could or might be doing at the moment but of course heights has always been an issue for me. technically im the regular asian guy height, if i were to attend emirates/qatar/singapore/etihad airways interview, they wouldnt pick the regular asian height, of course they would pick that giraffe among the zebras. jumping into other airlines probably will only be a dream. so for the time being i'll stay and see where this road leads me to. i might apply for other airlines interview, but being called up for a interview session will not be most likely.

SCKLM 2012

 standard chartered kuala lumpur marathon, in 10KM speed category. out of 7,024 runners i was the 1,301th to finish the race! hahaha tho i didnt train much and didnt sleep properly for that race, i managed to get my target time. ran 10.8KM in 68 minutes and 57 seconds! it super tiring alright, tho kareem finished slightly earlier than me, still... hahaha cant say much about the race, the track isnt as torturing as the brooks bukit jalil run but not as easy as the PJ dawn race. it was mediocre. there wasnt much of elevation except the part where we ran towards dataran merdeka tru masjid negara, that was a killer! the water stations was pretty much strategically placed and the finishing line was very well organized (as in the booth to get yo medals etc) and owh yeah the timing chip is pretty coolio since your timing is immediately updated online. so you can actually track where's your friend during the race. :) ouh i ran with kareem, wahida, onie and aizat.

New Taiwan Dollar

so there i was, in the middle of a busy street and wondering aimlessly to nowhere. it's fun to walk around in some foreign country, unfamiliar faces, they speak the language you dont understand, whenever they try to talk english it always with that accent which makes random sign language more understandable. just like walking down the street of harajuku, you get to see all sort of types of fashion; goth, gothic lolita, yankees and if you are lucky enough you get to spot one or two steampunks. in taipei for instant its the shops that really the fun part. the mobile accessories shop, those bubble tea shop, random fashion district in some random alleys and of course those clubs which dont quite seems like a club during the days and of course would blare out with house/techno/r&b music later. the fun part of course the 7Es in taipei, they have all sort of stuff inside, its like our very own 7E combine with some el fresco dining (exaggerating of course). maybe we have mamak shop but in taiwan they have THIS. they have 7E. just in case if you find yourself famished in the middle of the night, you could of course just head down to your nearest 7E and probably grab a cheesy chicken spaghetti, spicy chicken burger, sushi, rice with tomato sauce and beef and for drink is just mind blowing what they sell down here (there's wine in a can kooot) but of course my personal favourite;
besides having the local delicacy like the beef noodles, oyster misua, steam buns, deep fried (steam)buns i would definately have these first when i get here and tapau another to eat on my flight back.

and owh here's the view from my room, NOT that very scenic but i like that reflection on the water

what else can i say, one of the many perks of being a cabin crew/flight attendant/flight steward/*whatever you call us these days*. well of course to enjoy a certain luxury, one of course, have to experience the other half. when there's weapon there's bullets. to have the luxury of shooting one need to experience the bullet dodging *mind my metaphor, im currently watching lords of war hahaha*. nevermind that, anyway on the other hand i have my standard chartered 10km run coming this weekend, all the best to me, with no training at all i need to run 10km in less than 75 minutes, god knows how i will suffer. and owh did i mention i was one of the few who was invited to this mysterious briefing by my company. of course i wouldnt show the email here but i was invited for a briefing on a certain date but of course them being them, they didnt enclose or wrote whats the briefing is all about. yes i do have all sort of ideas or scenario running tru my head but im trying not to think to much on it, tho I AM thinking about it right now but i just cant help it *and owh lords of war just oni finished, superb movie of course*. probably there's a few hundred or puluh people is invited but still cant help to think all the worst case scenario or topic that will be laid down to us. "When had i ever needed to invite trouble in? it always found me, no matter where I hid..." LOL a direct quote taken from my latest addiction besides diablo 3; MAX fucking PAYNE 3!

no describing needed as the gameplay is still same ol same ol el maxy payne. to think that they made a grave mistake by releasing it on the same week/month with diablo 3, no they not. yes diablo has always been a good hack and slash game since no.1 till this but the story line has always been THAT. but max payne on the other hand is something else man. the story line, the character, the bullet time thingy is just awesome! but then again the problem with PC games nowadays the gameplay is just too damn short. Modern Warfare, Assasins Creed, Black Ops and "u name it!" it took a wholesome of your harddisk for installation but you can just finish the whole thing in a week time. back then games took me awhile to finish! Crusader: no remorse/regret, Resident Evil, Quake, Doom or whatever. anyway ill continue again later since i only have another 6 hour before my call time and sadly i have 4 fucking sectors tomorrow TPE/BKI/TWU/BKI/LBU *talking about doging bullets, i took this straight in the knee hahaha (play skyrim, you'll understand)* and owh did i told you the other day i was laugh at for saying that i still use film roll, i mean not literally, coz they were sayin like "who in the world still uses film roll *laughs*" tapi dalam hati saya tengah angkat tangan tinggi-tinggi. hahaha

himym

so did you watch the last episode of how i met your mother where they came out with this "you are not ready that's why you broke up, so give it a year or two or three or four or five then try it out again..." (something like dat), immediately i was suck into that whole "break-up-and-try-again" concept", me being a good stalker, i start stalking most of my ex's and unfortunately ms A is no longer ms, ms B has went back to KK, ms C is... probably not a good idea, ms D is almost happily ever after and engaged to mr D, ms F is still waaaayyy out of my league and ms F was the only one person who i wasnt able to find. that one person whom i always became a douche and endup being an asshole in the relationship. out of everyone i felt like F is the one person that i really need to get in touch with, probably its the guilt that is killing me or maybe its the curly long hair, i dont know. but then again i know that she's a cabin crew jugak, so one day we are gonna bump into each other annnnddd i seriously know that its gonna be a super awkward moment. so yeah tunggu kau...

ding dong ding dong goes the wedding bells

so whats been going on...?

so its been awhile since my last post ey?! owh well guess there's no point in writing the same ol thing everyday... nothing much have been going on, like how they say its the same shit different day. a day in work is just like every other day. i believe since early this year we havnt been getting good routes/flights. its been awhile since ive been to tokyo, south korea, dubai and so on. owh well i believe we are on the verge of ending our loss streak, probably next year or the year after we are gonna start kicking other airlines's ass again. hahah probably! by the time most of our 738 and a380 has came in and all of our 734 has been phase out, then only i believe we are ready to rock and roll. so on the other hand, we are doing this secondment thinggy with QR. and as expected i was screaming on top of my lungs (not really of course) when i first read the email. why im so earger, is of course because it is a SECONDMENT! i will only gonna be there for a certain period of time and i'll come back here once the whole period is done (its 12 month in this case). i say that it is good because, if i were to get into QR as their own crew, most probably if i like it or dont, i HAVE to stay as i dont have anything else to lean on, buutt if its a secondment i only have to finish my 12 month period and voillah, if i like it then probably i could work something out but if i dont at least i get to collect some money for myself and yeah get to operate all sort of aircraft and destination. at least for 12 month i could at least experience being somewhere other than here... being somewhere where i am the minority! where u have to stick around with "your" peeps in order to survive! but one thing i really dont get is those who doesnt or against this whole secondment. they came out with all sort of reason, all sort of things... if they are happy, who am i to say anything about it. but as for me, i hope they'll take me in. this is my only (or maybe the most suitable condition to try out staying overseas) shot for other airlines before i became too comfortable with whatever this is (pointing out to my uniform) hahah

broga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga

first time and not gonna be my last. broga, ill be back!