Saturday, November 13, 2010

rick castle, kate beckett and nikki heat

saturday, 13th of november 2010.

to some people today might has just been some regular saturday, regular weekend, doing what they regularly do, with people whom they always regularly spend time with on a regular 13th and to them its just a day to pass by, to live on, to go tru or to face. after spending 5 hours on a couch doin a rick castle and kate beckett marathon (refering to Castle on starworld) i realized that there was actually two ways of me spending the day which in a way might affect me and my future.

before i dig deeper into that hole let me explain something first. i was a librarian back then in primary school, then in highschool i was in science stream, quite active in sports later after that i studied hospitality management and catering and now im in aviation+f&b industry. notice anything? nothing seems to be connected or related to one another. i dont have a single clue what i actually love or want to do! i dont plan things, things just seems to fall into place and i just go with the flow. i obviously didnt plan things to be how they are right now, but then again I THINK this is what was i meant to do. I THINK. how can i know for sure? and to make things even more worst there's emirates interview today. why im so "kanciong" all about it, *teet* owh thats the pause button.

annnnnyway i was saying that there was two ways of me spending my day today. i was on stand by (3am - 11am) which i called em up at 12am last night and they assigned me with a simple CGK 2 sector flight. and so i did that flight. it was nothing much same ol' thing day in day out. THATS THE THING! its the same thing day in day out. ive just realized that that being here, not trying to look at other option, to look at other things or to look into me what i really want or in other word im in my comfort zone. im too afraid to go out. im afraid that the thing that i have my passion in might dissapoint me. might not be something out of the ordinary after all. to make things even worst, it doesnt even have a single drop of science stream, hospitality management or even f&b. what if ive been wasting my time at something i wasnt suppose to. just like how im afraid to meet new people, that is how im afraid of getting to know myself.

so my other choice of road for today was actually take an mc for today and go for that interview. its not that if i went there and i will IMMEDIATELY got the job and so on, but at least i know wether venturing deeper into this aviation thinggy is actually ME! i actually wanted to, but there was a little tiny feeling that start giving some small issues and excuse for not going to that interview. in a way i chickened out. i dont really know how to explain this but i would really love to go to abu dhabi and start exploring the world while working along side "international" people *giggles*. owh well there's always next time kan? i might just gonna let things fall into place and see where it leads me.

p.s - after fasting on greys for sooooo long ive met a new "TV drama friend". Castle!

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