expectation... something looked forward to, whether feared or hoped for... i used to have this expectation in everything. work, life, girls, friends, music and everything. when im in poly dulu, im always with this kind expectation thinggy. i set the bar too high, up to the point where everyone cant seems to satisfy or impress me. and thats when i became this lone ranger, where everytime there's practical class i would practically did everything by myself eventho its suppose to be a team thinggy. yeah you could say i want things to be my way or anything close to perfect. but then again what is perfect? everything that god create isnt perfect. only god itself is perfect. then how do we know that something is perfect when we, ourself never actually seen anything that is perfect. how do we rate something perfect? if its good then i would understand. what about perfect? when people say that they are a perfect couple, what do they mean actualy? they argue alot? they look happy? just because they are getting married then they are perfect? what im trying to say is, i used to be this person that think that i have to do everything by myself. i dont trust anyone to do any of my shit for me. even dulu dalam RANtAi, i still remember it was during this fundraiser for Gaza colab with NSTP. i was the stage manager and throughout the event i never gave my band listing to anyone eventho they offered themselves to cover for while i go and eat. why? because i want thing to go my way. like how i want it to be (and later in the end most of the people having a good time there except for me). but then after i started flying, now only i can say that being a lone ranger wont get you anywhere. since when you're up there, everything is all about teamwork and team effort to ensure the smoothness of the flight. basically my first month of flying ive tried being this lone ranger where i tried to do everything by myself. but i failed miserably. most of the time i kene taruh is because of my attitude trying to be everything by myself. now only i believe that by yourself you can never achieve something good or close to perfect. you cant. you just cant. that why when im in poly, i was never good at anything. trying to be that mr jack of all trades. plus being this mr "high expectation" has turned me into this choosy kind of person. im always with this dream of having someone with this " full spec", in a way my "dream" girl. but i can never find it. life would be a fairy tale if everyone meet their dream partner. there's no happy ending in life. thats why we gotta appreciate every moment in our life. live life to the fullest. dont put any expectation or hopes to high on everything. it will only spoil things. trust me.

jeng jeng jeng

it seems that i havnt been updating my blog for quite sometime huh... (as if ada thousand of readers eagerly waiting for new post or shit to read) well anyway im currently doin my 4 days trip (kch-bki-kch), had an arguement with a passenger on my last sector tadi. haih. this is soooo not a good way to start a trip. i mean its just a cup of coffee, why making scene for just a cup of coffee. i know they all paid for the tickets anyway, but hey ITS JUST A CUP OF COFFEE. im not trying to say anything here tapi dah bad weather... bad weather laaaa!

well anyway this last few days of 2009 hasnt been very kind to me. had my first accident the other day, that "troublesome" passenger, me being very moody all the time, and the money i had to pay for that accident thinggy. its just so frustrating how this last few days of 2009 has been treating me. i still have 2 split duties and 3 night stops to go. how can i possibly survive man. i mean even if i avoid myself from goin into those al-fresco dining or "what ever you wanna call it" restaurant still my daily spendings and nak kasi minum my WTD pun cam its already a pain in the ass. (i seriously need to stop smoking as i've calculated if i stop smoking and the money i use to buy cigarettes for few months can be use to buy me-self a nintendo wii)

on the other hand i've just came back from phuket. did a frens holiday getaway. it was FUN-TABOLOUS! its was 5 days of sun, beach, tanning, party and a-hell-lots-of drinking. hahhaha luckily on our last night there was this beach party where 6 dj came and make our holiday even more FUN-TABOLOUS.

moving on, its already sebulan kot i moved in with sally, crystal and charlotte. its nice to have them as housemate and your bestie is just few floors down. cool huh! tell me about it. but on the other hand, my spending its off the chart la. makan kene dekat luar, anything kene drive pergi beli since there's still no groceries or makan anywhere near green avenue condo. so yeah nak anything je kene keluar. i really miss staying home where you dont have to worry about rent, electricity and water bills. basically tak yah nak fikir bende sangat. i guess im already on the stage of growing up. learning how tospend my money, how to run my life, how live independently and most importantly how to get up for work by myself. hahahahah

2009. its has been great. its has been a memorable one. saw lots of changes in my life. met new people, gain new knowledge, new friends, new enemies, missing my old friends (no you guys are not forgotten, unless you guys already forgot all about me :( ) and not forgotten, my new job. i will miss 2009. 6 days more to go. hopefully 2010 i can get a girlfriend. im already sick being single since im constantly surrounded with lovey-dovey couple. hahahahhaa i pun nak. hahahha

2010 check list
- nintendo wii
- bandung holiday
- FOC tix to maldives
- girlfriend :P
- savings
- cutting down on my nicotine intake
- being less bitchy
- spending more time in shah alam (wei adi aku rindu lepak sama korang)
- nak terel main at least satu instrument
- to learn mandarin *optional :P*

remember my name

for some reason people that i havent seen for quite some time keep popping out everywhere. i met balram (a childhood friend which we always tukar-tukar pinjam tape game dulu when nintendo used to be the in thing) on a flight, met syafiq (used to work togetha in nandos) in darus, met raisa (qissy's friend) in mid, a bunch of people who i dont remember their name but i remember goin to school or poly together with em in klia, premnath (classmate during primary school) in transport dept. and few others more. i mean what is this man? is this some sort of sign? sign for? could things be more clearer for once in my life!?

just came back from a quite a hectic outing. went to mid to c a movie wif cik bestie. lepak in cb (which i was amazed with her cb card thinggy. sangat cool. hahahahah lame gile i) went back to shah alam and drove to sunway to meet a friend. owh one thing that i regret today is, not listening to my guts which it told me to cancel that meeting session in sunway and just lepak with my crissy, sally n adi. y? coz the so called meeting session was this 'persuasion session' to ajak me to join this investment+multilevel shit. dude it takes you more than those sweet little 'happly ever after' stories and a bunch of dude driving some cool looking cars. i mean you kept saying 'why bother working for people when you can work for yourself' but in the end you systems is just like everywhere punya system. the more 'downline' you have the more money for the people above you. plus i need to invest THIRTEEN FUCKING THOUSAND to enter this investment+multilevel stuff. where t hell am i gonna get that much of money. as if life is that simple.

anyway im really happy with how i am now. will try not to be greedy and try to appreciate and live with what i have now.

am trying so hard to give away most of my off days. need flight to cover my annual leave. anyone? off day anyone?

am looking forward for new moon, sherlock holmes, mr fantastic fox, ironman 2 and fame (kalau keluar kat malaysia la...)

owh yeah my bestie rawks!

next agenda before 2010...

G
E
T

A

girlfriend.... (m not desperate, only looking hahah)

knock me down will ya?

like every other year everybody must have their new year's resolution, a checklist, a "what need to be achieve" list or perhaps... hope... just to have that small tiny bit of hope to have or achieve something, but nevertheless do we really fight for we hope for? do we? or we list down all those "hope" just for the sake of doing it. i dunno, i have a few thing i was suppose to do this year such as "get a girlfriend ASAP" and so far... i failed to do anything about it. *giggles* and now its already november and i think i only achieve few oni from my "what need to be achieve" list. gawwd...

"this is bad real bad Michael Jackson..."

moving on

life hasnt be good or yet cruel to me. nothing much is happening. stuck with this "eat-work-sleep" routine. owh yeah lately ive been a "flight" junkie. asking for mutual and stuff. and it does feels good when end of the month you looking those big numbers in ye bank account. it does feels good to have all those "ka-ching"... it does feels good to know that u actually making something... tapi sikit pun tak best when all those "ka-ching" went to all your so called commitments. ptptn laa... itu la.. ini la.. haiya... hahah like what my friends sed, "dudee... we're already 22.. like it or not.. we have to grow up. life seems to move faster than us. we just have to keep up with it..."

on the other hand

had a superb time with my bestie yesterday. went on a "day out" berserk with her. went to watch that 2012 movie. imdb gave it 6.5 star rating, but for me its should be much lesser than that. i mean its about end of the world mann... why doesnt they invest much more for all those cgi stuff, and the movie was quite predictable... i pity gordon coz he was suppose to be happily ever after with his new wife but instead jackson came and steals her while he was driving(and practically saving all of em!! hello!) that big jumbo aircraft dengan yuri. haiya. the only thing good about the movie is, THANDIE NEWTON! hahahha after the movie we went to darus and hang. it was then my bestie came out with a quote which practically answerd my one question... THE one question... that one question ive been asking everyone and nobody seems to came out with a straight answer...

question - if every man and women is destined to have that one person... a soulmate, but why does my mum endup being a single parent... sampai sekarang?

wanie - it says that every person is destined to have someone, a soulmate in this world. there's no sign of telling who's you soulmate and who isnt. and it also doesnt state whether we'll be happily ever after ke tak dengan that ONE. so basically there's a possibility of being with your soulmate but minus the happily ever after part.

thanxs *wink* *wink*

retimed &delayed!

i was suppose to depart from kuching at 1545 hours yesterday. but that flight has been retimed due to the super duper bad weather to 17(somthing) hours. then after we departed from kuching we safely landed in sibu. everything was goin ok, but then lagi sekali due to the bad weather he had a very bad landing, so the aircraft needed to be checked for any defect in case anything fell off mase hard landing tue so we had to stay on ground a.k.a delayed for about an hour. so after that we flew to miri and back to kuching. we're suppose to be back at 2100 hours tapi last2 sampai kuching balik around 0100 hours. bile flight neyh dah kene retimed and delayed camneyh, today my flight was suppose to depart from kuching at 1100 hours last2 kene depart around 17(somthing) hours. and sampai klia pukul 2200 hours. urgh...

i hate bad weather.