6 months - we're here - 6 months

You should know by now that what you have planned would never be as how u expect and in the end things would turned out waaaaaay diff then what u have planned and expected. Reality never walk on the same path with expectation and hope. I only have resolution just so that i would have a clear target of what i hope for and expect but in the end like i said, things would never turned out like how u wanted, it would be diff, maybe better and maybe worse but its how you cope with the end result make a whole lot diff.

"eggs are already broken, why not make an awesome omelette out of it..."

Six months has passed and six months to go till we reach 2012. Hows your so called resolution coming? Any chances of having new ones? Sticking to your old ones? Haha im still fat and buncit, doesnt know how would the new uniform treat me later this year, ill just hope that all of my exercise will paid off. Im still spending off my salary on bunch of useless things. Savings seems like the hardest thing to do so far. Emirates and etihad has been rather cruel to me since they are only looking for stewardesss. Nothing much really. Im still stucked in this sad sad saaaaaad job. Really. Nak beli leica pun still a long fucking way to to go. Laptop pun jauh sekali. PS3? Cool car soundsystem? Rims? Dalam mimpi je la. Nak bawak my mother jalan-jalan roun asia pun jangan harap la.

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sudah apply!

*finger crossed*

chaka khan

kenapa macam susah sangat nak cari lagu makcik neyh? tade ke ape kat internet neyh? satu lagu je kot... chaka khan - foolish fool

macaroons and cuppycakes

saya pernah amik subject marketing. basic marketing principle. i learn a thing or two about marketing. the marketing P's (place, people, product and promotion), concept and stuff. all the basic-basic stuff je. masa belajar dulu i did came across the word and the whole concept of fads. yup something yang hype for a limited time sahaja. growth scale dier sangat mendadak dan begitu juga semasa dier menurun. it is something like fashion.

"Fashions fade, style is eternal..."
- Yves Saint Laurent

Kalau fashion itu fads then style would be... emm lupa. Well anyway so when a certain object, thing, statement or anything experiencing fads, on the tipping point everybody would go gaga, crazy, jumping up and down for it. the good thing is you can basically found it anywhere and everywhere. on the downside, people start ripping off each other's product. like last year, it was the year of cupcake. everything was associated with cupcakes. literally EVERYTHING. you'll see promotion with cupcakes picture on it *eventho the cupcake picture doesnt have anything to do with the promotion*, for the sake of joining the hype/craze. still remember that people would go for birthday cupcakes rather than normal/typical round birthday cakes. it was cupcake, cupcake, cupcake and cupcake. they even managed open up few outlets of cupcake chic *an overly priced cupcakes* during this whole craze. but the best cupcakes i tried was in wondermilk, pj. just the right amount of sweetness. dah la cupcakes yang lain semua gila-babi-manis-sampai -boleh-dapat-gangren and one thing about the cupcakes nie semua; it's never about the cupcake, it's always about the design. plus majority yang beli semua perempuan, so they'll go like "awww comel nye gambar kucing atas cupcake tue!" or "awww look the colour, its niceeeee..." but they never puji kesedapan dier. not even once. they always go for a particular shop because of the nice, neat and well coloured cupcakes. never about the recipe. kalau nak cakap pasal recipe, most of them just wanna make super cheap cupcakes but super expensive. why expensive? you are actually buying the design not the cupcake. so they are charging you extra for the extra neat workmanship. doesnt make sense lah semua ini. its not like you're gonna wear those cupcakes to work and such. you'll buy it, eat it and it'll go out along with your morning nasi lemak later that day. i really dont get it. tapi ini semua tahun lepas la. this year, its the year of macaroons. ini lagi la tak faham. why should i buy something that is THAT small with THAT kinda price. really dont make any sense. baik aku beli those godiva chocolates kat airport or patchi kat pavi. anyway have you seen adriano zumbo's v8 macaroon tower. kalau dah you would actually understand why i dont understand how could that little thing could be SOMETHING suddenly. cam nowadays being seen with a cupcake is like sooo 2010, now its all macaroons pulak. u go to flickr, display pic and so on tak sah kalau tade orang post gambar macaroons. i mean if people wanna go gaga over cheese ke, wine ke, a certain restaurant ke i would totally understand. but macaroons? come on! like COOOOMMMEEE OOONNN! seriously!? and again, it is never about the macaroons but the color. how colorful can it be! owh gawd. come on. malaysian you can do better than this! even donuts pun tak boleh lawan mereka berdua ini. and yes, cupcake sekarang dah cam nothing dah.

incik marco dari tropoja?

anda incik marco dari tropoja? kata rosham noor. hahah i was imagining who actually would it be if liam neeson was born malaysian. hahha or anyone who is capable of saying this in relaxed tone of voice and yet still scared the shit out of marco from tropoja.

‎"I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you..." - Taken.

khilafku

a song written by an old friend of mine.

"selama ini selalu yang ku puja mahkluk yang kau cipta,
selama ini selalu yang ku sebut yang sama darjatnya,
sering aku lupa apa yang aku cari bila ku hidup,
dan ku kejar dunia hingga ku terlupa siapa yang mencipta,

wal hal di jadikan semua,
untuk membuatkan ku berfikir,
selama ini aku hanya bergurau bila aku kata ku saksi,
aku hanya bersenda mengaku ku percaya sedangkan kau tak ku kenali..."

written by the vocalist of Bintang Batu; Farhan if im not mistaken. its deep, very deep man. eventho i was never really a fan of malaysian songs or poetry but this one really is something. every now and then i would play this song, and i somehow never get bored of this song. his words are really something. menusuk dikalbu. hoho

"maafkan wahai pencipta,
kerana ku sejahil-jahilnya manusia,
lemahnya diriku x seperti diriNya,
namun ku terus berjuan dari,
virus hati yang semakin sebati,
moga tak terhijab dari petunjukNya,
selagi ku hidup..."

btw ini bukan those typical nasyid punya lagu.

holy cow! holy shoomizitnit! holy mujohutofitosilo...

EK interview! EK interview! E-freaking-K interview! Tapikan everytime ade interview that i really wanted to go to, meeeesti ade flight-flight best yang menganggu. For example few months back there was Etis and Emirs interview in kl, but for some reason maybe my company knows that i want jump to other airlines tue yang dier bg flight2 "mahal" on t day of t interview itself. And next month dier bagi TPE 3 days trip. Tapi pabila perkara2 begini berlaku, mulalah berfikir2 bende2 mendalam seperti; what is this? A test? To see wether i cud sacrifice money in order to get something that i want eventho theres no assurance of getting it fo real? Is this really meant to be? Stuff like that. I always have this theory about life where one destiny or life is written and theres nothing one could do about it. Eventho they say you yourself choose the road to your destiny but then again doesnt it make sense if i say the choice that u take or took is already written. Doesnt matter what you do, its what you are meant to do. And consequences are made to make one believe that the choices are layed down for you not pre-answered for you. haahaha mengarut je kan.

On the other hand
Saya benci hotel hilton kuching la, the quilt are too damn thick wei. Kalau x pakai sejuk, kalau pakai panas lak *macam dewey cox cakap, "im hot and cold at the same time. More blanket and less blanket..."* lepas tue dekat vicinity area hotel ney tade proper food joint selain dr fastfood kat tepi ney. And for some reason crew suka sangat makan dekat "bawah tangga" ney. I dont see what is so great about their ayam penyet. Dah la minyak recycle beriban kali, pastu the whole place ade this one-kind-of-fishy-and-disgusting-smell-which-i-cant-describe. Dengan sanitation yang agak kurang, tempat ney lebih kurang macam philipino market dekat KK cume dier bawah tangga and jual ayam penyet and mee kolok. The only thing i find interesting is the mushroom noodles. Tue je yang ok. And for some reason this hotel has this one bellboy who seems to know about the pattern flights goin in and out more than me. Hahaha dier ade apps blackberry yang check flight tue kot *giggles*.

Moving on
Nak update CV dan mungkin memerlukan pertolongan wahai bestie punye ayat2 gempak. ¦P

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happy fathers day

I hit a few bumps on the road, i fell down every now and then and i always pick myself up, i dont get any manly advice when i needed one and you were never around when we needed a man in the house. Thank you for not being around. Happy fathers day.

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Most american mov there's always a scene where the girl/guy would go and say "one day im gonna go out from this shitty place. And eventually succeed in life...". Lets play some statistic and he a little realistic here. Few millions wanna go out and fill a few thousand vacancy. And from few thousands there's only few hundred of executive position. And few hundred there's only few places in the VVIP post. And from few there's only one seat in the chairman. And for every one stage u go up, the elimination gets tougher. First they look at your qualification, then qualities and lastly they look at your advantages. You know how muchio i want to be in uae airlines; emirates to be exact. Im already among the few millions who wants to get out from their shitty place. How in the world do i want to compete with those super tall and good looking europeans and americans. Haih its a long shot but i would definately not stop trying. If its meant to be then its meant to be.

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"one could never have enough butter..."

Watching all these cooking show (masterchef, hell's kitchen etc) has made me wonder, what has happen to me? Where have all my passion for food gone? I have always like food. I dont just eat ze food, i taste, i chew, i feel the whole chemistry going on in ze food. Ze whole explosion of taste in your mouth. I always tried making stuff at home and coll back then. Ive always like standing in the kaiten belt or being at the agemono station. I like cheese, not how it taste but how it react toward diff style of cooking. I always like the smell of cinnamon and bayleaf. I love when you cook mushroom soup (not from the can please) the whole nice fragrant goin on. The whole dissapointment when you cook your roux a lil bit too much. Boning a fish, preparing your chicken stock, steaming your garnishing, blunching, bouget garni, mira poix, plating and how i always have capsicum in my food. Now alif iskandar, what in ze world happened to you? Ze closest thing u ever get to cooking is maggie and heating foods in inventum oven. Where have all ze julia child in me has gone? I still have my super thick professional cooking book stored hidden in my room. My super sexy paring knife has became pisau potong sayur mak saya. My victorinox french knife has been just a display in my house. My previous tool kit ranges from knives, silverware, senduk and lots more. Now my tool kit ranges from thong, gloves, and the bag itself. Thats it. No more stockpot, non stick pan, griller, chiller and heater. I hate whats going on right now. Im paying rm30 for a seafood cabonara which tasted like instant maggie mee. Where i could make thouuuuusand times better. Haih i wanted to cook but my place isnt ze best place to do so. Plus i dont really like to cook then some other people EXPECT that i would cook for them oso. I dont wanna start the whole nirmala bonat shit here. If i ever get my own place in the future, i would definately get my own proper bbq set. I would grill, smoke, burn and caramalised my food there. But owh well that is whole diff story there. One day i might move out and start doin something about this. One day ya'll.

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Im listening

Being the youngest among three brothers is no fun when your two big brother is a fulltime rebel. For half of my age ive been nagged by my beloved mother for stuff that i didnt do, and since i was young i had no father to teach me stuff (nak play catch kononnye) and to tell me stuff that only a father could tell me, plus my mother isnt always around for me. So most of my life i was a loner + nerd and since i never talk back to my mother, ive develope a super strong patient. Yup, but since she's always the one whos doing the talking so im also grew up to be a patient dan "menerima je apa orang cakap". So coincidently ive endup in service industry where to be in one, one has to have lotsof patient and listening skill. Ah-ha both is my strong att. Hahaha like they say, if its meant to be, its meant to be haha.

When i take shit (not literally taik la) from pax is one thing but if that shit is coming from your crewmates is totally a diff story. I totally hate it seriously. It is when you had to cover his/her job is the stressing part. Not trying to be selfish or drawing a line but doing things together and doing things alone is hell yeah diff yo. Why cant you just do your job, and we all could enjoy the flight. Its too much? Quit then. Its too hard? Its a freaking job yo, Suck it up. Life itself is hard. Too lazy? Stay home. Forgot? Makan kismis bismillah la.

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running

Being a cabin crew, i have nothing to look forward to. I dont have assignments. I dont have presantation. I dont have meetings. I dont have to chase client or the other way around. I only have flights, flights, flights and flights. Its either daily flights, layovers or trips. I dont have anything to look forward to. So technically having a hobby is crucial to keep you going. Its just something for you to look forward to, to do when everyone else is flying. To kill time. But then again i dont look for those "collecting" type hobbies coz ive tried it and since i dont go anywhere out of asia so there's nothing much for me to collect *unless i want thoooooousands of KCH, PEN or BKI frigde magnet on my fridge*. So ive decided to choose something that benefits me. At first i tried mtb, and it is soooooo not for me. Too extream. Next was wallclimbing. Since its a sport which i need a partner so scratch that. Finally running. Yeah i kinda loving it, last month alone i ran a total of 60 km *courtesy of sporty pal*. My fitness is getting better day by day. But my records doesnt seems to budge. My record is 3.70 km in 24 minutes. I dont seem to be getting any better than this. A friend of mine managed to do 3.7 in 18 minutes. Selepas sebulan mencuba saya menjadi frustrated sebab rekod masa cammmtu je and my dearest beer barrel kat depan ney semakin membesar seperti ibu mengandung ade la. X sakit hati ke when you're hoping that all your hardwork would at least paid off, siiiiiikit pun tak bagi chance. Might wanna give it a few more months, kalau semakin kembung i might gonna try roadbike after this. Cari geng berbasikal dr b.jalil ke shah alam on kesas *ive always wanted to try this*.

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miserable

Every single time that 'what if' song by babyface berkumandang, i just cant help being miserable, starting to reminisce those good ol 'ill do anything for you' times and trying my best not to give my ex a late night booty call *hahaha*.

"Leave everything, get up and start something new..."

Ive deleted pictures, throw away used mov tix, gifts, perfumes or anything that reminded me of her but i cant seem to delete her phone numb or her birthday in my calender. Cant seem to have the courage to completely delete her in my life. When she walk away from our relationship, owh yes i hated her for doing so but hating her for doing so doesnt make me unlove her. Yes i still do love her but i really believe that we could never ever be together again. She has been a biiiiiig part of my life, she understands me, she knows what i like, what i hate. She gives the perfect birthday gift, always. She cooks like how i want my food to be cook *yup i will still eat it if she do it any other way* but the most important thing, she loved me and i know no one could ever possibly beat her sacrifices and her effort. But one thing i really couldnt understand is, how / when / why did suddently from love it became loved. Up till now i really dont get it. If i could turn back time, i would not do anything differently. Ive tried my best and for that i have no regrets. Maybe things werent meant to be. Maybe she's is that one who got away. Maybe i was too young. Who knows. Call me stupid but i still remember our promise that in case we broke up, when im like 35 or so, we should meet back at that place where our eyes first met. And i still dont know why i remember this promise. Couldnt properly let go kot.

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3 years ago

3 years ago i was earning 800/monthly.
3 years ago i was so into malaysian independent music scene where i play, i organize and attend events in kl.
3 years ago ive never imagine myself to be travelling quite alot.
3 years ago i was never a workaholic.
3 years ago, i believe that in order to work, one has to have passion in what he do.
3 years ago i've always wanted to do volunteering stuff.
3 years ago i was still living with my mum in shah alam.
3 years ago i was car-less and license-less.
3 years ago i wasnt able to splurge anything on myself.
3 years ago i was juggling 2 jobs at the same time, eventho one of it doesnt even pay me anything. It was more like a volunteering stuff.
3 years ago ive never set foot in any other country except malaysia.
3 years ago i always imagine that one day ill work in a fine dining japanese restaurant.
3 years ago i was a soft spoken kiddo.
3 years ago i wasnt an alco.
3 years ago i didnt care so much about my dad.
3 years ago i wasnt into drugs.
3 years ago i was single.

Now im earning more than 1.5k/monthly.
Now i dont listen to any malaysian music. Dont even play any instrument anymore.
Now im travelling on a daily basis.
Now im a workaholic.
Now i believe that more money you earn the better the job is. Passion wouldnt really matter when you have lotsof money.
Now im still interested to do volunteering stuff but too occupied with work to even think about it.
Now im staying in bukit jalil with my friends.
Now i have my WTD baby.
Now i constantly splurging on myself with useless things.
Now im working steady in one job.
Now ive set foot in various countries.
Now im imagining that one day ill work in a multinational airlines, based in UAE.
Now ive able to speak up to others. Im no yes man.
Now...
Now i hate my dad.
Now i still hate drugs. :)
Now im still single.

From a short period, ive change in so many ways. Its funny how money can buy my belief, can change my course of life, able to take me a notch up and can provide me with so many things. Nobody can escape changes, your enviroment is constantly changing, people come and they'll go, nothing last forever.

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