S07E22

"there's a reason why i said i would be happy alone, it wasnt coz i thought i would be happy alone, its because i thought if i love someone, and then it felt apart, i might not make it.
its easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love?, and then you dont have it.
what if you like it, and lean on it, what if you shake your life around it, and then it falls apart, can you even survive that kind of pain?
losing love is like organ damage, its like dying, the only difference is, death ends, this... it could go on forever..."

Meredith Grey

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u get as what u hope for

Recently ive just finished reading the secrets by rhonda byrne. Nope its not a fiction book nor a conspiracy theory kinda book. Its a selfhelp kinda book, something like those chicken soup collection. So after spending numerous hours during layover/nightstop reading that book to sleep, its kinda interesting tho. Everyone has been saying that the whole content of that book is a bit syirik (please google). Coz it says that our mind is connected to each other in a whole other diff universe. So whatever we do, think or act here effects the other universe and vice versa. So technically if we think, talk or do about something, automatically u are attracting that aura to you. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla doesnt matter how you put it, it will only focus on the main topic. Example, i dont wanna meet adrian later thus you will meet him later or i would rather date a guy than her thus guys will be attracted to you, that kinda thing lah. So what makes it more interesting, i have been yapping about accidents and how my car got hit during my whole 3 days trip. Ngam2 lepas i balik, nak pergi lepak kat marrakesh, otw tue pow! kene langgar ngan bus. Luckily it was a slow mo punye accident. Eventhou i refuse to believe the whole "you think, you get" concept (to me its just the author trying to say stop being so negative, positive aura will make you better in life) but kebetulan kot. Even few days before my first accident, i kept telling myself that "everyone has their first accident, so like it or not you'll have your first. so be cool bro...". Maybe the whole other diff universe doesnt exist but i do believe that everything you say or think is like a doa. The more u think/talk about it, you are actually praying for it to happen. We always see the bad things in everything and thats why we never noticed all the good things that have happen to us. Like what our parents always says, "ape awak cakap tue doa, jangan lah doakan kecelakaan dekat orang...".

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berkarat

Ish berkarat sungguh english saya.

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silly as it gets

dream. what you want to be, what u want, u need, who you wish to be with, an idea of accomplishment and so on lah. still remember clearly when i was in kindergarden, my ambition was to be a fire fighter (dunno whats playing on my mind that time), then during primary school i always imagine myself as a ranjer, marine or anything that has that espionage shit. Later on in secondary ive tried my best to become a dentist but failed miserabably. After school, since i was so much into our local art scene, ive always want to be a canvas-drawing-artist-cum-poet. Hahaha it shows that how fickle minded i am ever since i was little. I dont seems to stick on a one way road. Then during college time, yeah u guess; a chef in an international hotel with michellin award and culinare awards. Hahaha and now since im already in an airline i guess i should just go with the flow. To move back into hotel line, guess its too late d. So what im really hoping for right now is emirates. Yup emirates. It gets even more silly when im only applying for emirates and no other airlines. I would literally give up everything for a place in emirates. Dont ask me why, maybe its because all the news about emirates ive been reading lately and how their corprate image has been lift up by their plans to get even more a380 and employ summore 2000 plus cabin crew. And no its not because of a certain sumone who just started flying in emirates, no its not because of her. And no i dont want etihad, cathay etc. Why? Maybe coz i havnt heard much news about etihad eventho they are much better than emirates (says the latest skytrax survey). For a job that suppose to get me places, right now im not so much of going places, more like cuti-cuti malaysia. I wont start bitching my company coz without em, i wont get the chance to even start flying. No matter how bad things are, they are doing their best to please everyone. And yes nothing is perfect and u cant pleased everyone.

"it aint gonna rain all day sunshine..."
The Crow

Technically i think im in this mid 20's age crisis. Yup next year m gonna be 25 and accomplisment so far is none. I need something, just something firm enough for me to hold on to. I know i aint that tall enough to have this sky high dream, but i wont stop trying. Age is catching up, i need this. Fast. *trying my best not to sound desperate tho...* So right now my dream is to be in emirates. Fly to moscow, canada and so on. Based in DXB? I say bring it on!!!

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Selamat Hari Raya

selamat hari raya. nothing much to say tho. nothing much goin on. feeling a bit grateful that im still here despite that my raya leave isnt approved and had to spent my raya with an empty house. but that still doesnt stop me from enjoying all the lemang, ketupat and rendang that my mum cooked. storming open houses and the sad part; giving duit raya. i still remember how rm1.00 was big enuff for duit raya. nowaday rm1.00 is considered cheapskate and rm5.00 is the typical duit raya. hahaha time changes and so does the value of money. couldnt really munch on food tho on the first day of raya. still with that puasa mood. good thing was i lost few kilos during ramadhan but bad news, perut buncit je lagi. hahaha anyway selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin.