what would you do?

what if one day you found out that you're gonna die soon. like real soon... let say one day suddently out of the blue you are diagnose with aa... emm cancer maybe? HEP B maybe? an unknown disease maybe? HIV maybe? or maybe an incurable tumor. nope you're not gonna die immediately but you are gonna live a harsh and excruciating 36 months and gonna die with a painful death. what you gonna do? i mean are like gonna start doing all those bungee jump, freefall kinda stuff or even go to you oldest crush and tell her/him how you feel? i mean come on get real! who would actually wants to be with someone who has a very short expiry date? how would you feel that you have to quit your job just because you medical state doesnt allow you to do heavy lifting jobs? how would you feel if you are bedridden and your family members has to suffer by carrying you out, here and there? how would you feel when you can only sit and do nothing when the medical expenses for you is gonna be as high as the mount everest! how would you feel when friends starting to drawn away from you? get left behind? or maybe how would you feel for the first time in your life you has no control over anything; being hopeless!? they say having near death exp gonna make you feel closer to god? but to me its not the exp makes you closer to god, but being scared of dead, dying or death itself makes you closer to god. but honestly speaking i think knowing when and how you're gonna die, isnt it even waaaay better that waiting for it to come? like you can plan things, you have the hours or days to count. you know when to say goodbye. at least you know whats coming or whats gonna hit ye. owh well i for one thinks that suicide is waaaay better than a hard and painful death.